Sunday, August 06, 2006

LOSER MAGNET

Yep, that would be me. I seem to be a magnet for loser-type guys.

The most recent was a guy that got on the bus drunk. Smelled like he hadn't had a bath for a couple months. Of course, he sat in the peanut seat and stared at me. Then he kept going on and on about how beautiful I was. That would be much more flattering coming from someone that cared a LITTLE about their personal hygiene! I tried to ignore him. I pretended I was just too busy driving and calling the streets and saying "Hello" and "Thank you" and " Have a great evening" to everyone getting on/off the bus. By the time he was ready to get off the bus, he got the clue that he was being ignored...Which surprised me! On his way off, after miles of compliments, he said "Fuckin' cunt!" and staggered off the bus. It must be true what they say...There's a thin line between love and hate!

A while back, there was another loser on my bus...Surprise, surprise!! Of course, he took an immediate liking to me. When he got on the bus, he told me I was the prettiest bus driver he had ever seen and that all bus drivers should look like me. He smelled like he had been chewing moth balls for a week or so. I tried to be polite and not gag as I said "Why, thank you!" and hoped he took a seat.

A few minutes later I smelled something strange. I saw smoke going out the window but couldn't tell quite where it was coming from. I know what most drugs smell like (lets just say I have an interesting past) and to this day, I can't figure out what he was smoking. I made a generic announcement "There is no smoking of ANYTHING on Metro Transit buses." It worked...The guilty party, who happened to be my not-so-secret admirer, said "who...Me?" It's always the guilty one that speaks up. The people on the bus got a few chuckles out of that. The best part was when he was getting off the bus. He proposed to me!! Oh, yeah. That's the guy I've been waiting for all my life. The one that gets on the bus and smokes God only knows what and is in desperate need of a toothbrush and a gallon of Listerine!!

I've had a few other guys propose or just try to give me their phone number, but they were all pretty much like the guys I've just told you about. Could start to give a girl a complex!

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