AND THE WINNER IS....

CONGRATULATIONS to Jennifer. She found me on my 46 route yesterday over on the St. Paul side. She knew the winning phrase and walked away with a really cool bright yellow messenger bag, the new and graphically improved beer stein mug, a bumper sticker and pin.

Thanks to all that played along. Thought you'd find me sooner! Especially with the recent giveaway clue!! Someone commented that I could be on the 11 and they were right. I was on it all week!

Anyway, I've been found. I'm sure I'll do the contest again, just not sure when. I don't want it to be like an ongoing thing...more like a once-in-a-while thing. It makes it more fun.

Gotta run...there are strangers on street corners just waiting for me to pick them up!

HAVE A NICE WALK!

Kids are so stupid, sometimes. I was driving the 18 going into downtown and was pulling up near 63rd and Nicollet. There was a group of about half a dozen kids. I'd guess they were from about 9 - 14 years old. They were about half a block from the bus stop and they started waving their arms wildly as they ran for the bus stop.

I pulled up alongside them, intending to stop where the first kid was (the furthest from the direction I was coming) so the others could just file in. As I pulled up to the first kid, one further back along the side of the bus yelled "Stop bitch!!" I stopped the bus, kept the door closed and looked through the side windows at the potty-mouthed boy. I kind of rolled my eyes and shook my head and pulled off. The kid couldn't have been much more than 10 years old. No way was I going to allow him to talk to me like that and then have him ride my bus...thus getting away with such disrespect.

After I pulled away, I called Control to let them know that I had passed up the group of kids and my reason why. They thanked me for letting them know and told them they'd pass that on to the bus behind me. WOO HOO!! Usually, that means that bus will pass them, too.

I hope they learned a lesson! If not, I hope they at least enjoyed their walk. ;)

CONTEST HINT

Okay, I'm getting tired of carrying these prizes around. It's getting too hot. Hmmmm...don't wanna just give you the route I'm on. That would be too easy.

Monday - Thursday I will be driving from northeast to south Minneapolis. Here's a BIG hint....I'll be going down the Nicollet Mall. Okay...I think I've said enough. I probably said too much. Oh well. We'll see.

Don't forget the winning phrase!!! Picking up strangers is fun!!

GUY LINES

Recently, I was doing the 18. It's always good for comedy.

A lady got on. She was nicely dressed and took a seat alone and obviously wanted it that way. Sure enough, the sharks started to circle. I couldn't believe it when I heard one guy go up to her and say the one line I always thought was soooooo stupid and an obvious attempt to find out if a woman is single. "Is your husband married?" The look on her face was as though she was reading my mind..."What a loser".

Not long after that idiot left, another guy and his friend started talking to her. The conversation started out innocent enough. What kind of work do you do? Do you live south? Then it got funny. The guy asked her if he gave her his address would she go over to his place and watch his bird. It was so bizarre, even his buddy tried to hide his laughter. The girl was pretty smart and turned him down nicely. I have to admit, that is a line I have never heard before!!

SNOOZIN' ON THE MALL

I was driving down Nicollet recently. I was stopped at a red light next to Daytons/Marshall Fields/Macy's or whatever the name of that store is this month. As I waited to cross 8Th street, I noticed a guy across the intersection sitting on the curb ahead with a large duffel bag at his feet. It looked like he was waiting for a parade. As I watched, he pushed the bag with his feet until it was almost to the double yellow line in the middle of the street. Then he crawled off the curb and laid down with his head on the bag like it was a pillow. Luckily, I had watched all this. He was dressed in all dark clothing and the bag was dark. It was dark outside and, even with the lighting on the mall, he was hard to see.

I carefully drove around him to get to the next bus stop. I decided I better call Control and have them get someone to get this guy out of the street before a cab came around the corner and ran him over or something.

I like the Mall, but it's not THAT homey! Then again, maybe I don't know what I'm missing. Guess I'll have to grab my pillow one night and go check it out!

SUMMER SMELLS

I love summertime. We suffer through long winters here in Minnesota just to enjoy a few months of warmth. However, along with the summer heat come the summer smells. On the bus, these can get gut wrenching.

I had this woman get on my bus recently. No joke. I could smell her before I even had a chance to greet her. She stunk BAD!! Unless there is a new cologne out there called "eau de ass", she really needed a bath.

The drunks stench goes up a notch, too. That fruity smell of cheap wine is enough to make me gag. It smells like they threw up on themselves, brushed it off and continued on with their day.

If you take a bus, do everyone a favor and make sure you don't stink! Treat other peoples' noses the way you want them to treat yours.

Thank you...this has been a public service announcement...for real!

I LOVE FIREMEN

I was driving down Nicollet Mall recently. There was a little boy about, 4 years old, walking with who I'm guessing were his parents and some other people. There was a fire truck right ahead of me. The little boy heard the truck and turned to look. His eyes lit up an you could tell he was excited just to see one so close to him. The firefighters noticed him and stopped the truck. They called him over and let him stand on the truck. They blew the horn and made a quick tap on the siren. The little boy was in heaven. There were people stopping to take pictures. The parents got theirs, too. It was really cute.

As the little boy walked away and waved at the firefighters, they called him back again. They gave him some stickers. This was like giving the kid a bar of gold. He was overjoyed. He waved again as the truck slowly pulled away with all the grown men waving back at the kid.

Usually, I get mad when I am forced to miss a stoplight or two. This was worth it. It was fun to watch. These guys took a couple minutes out of their day to give a kid something he will remember for years.

By the way, I know there are women firefighters...but this truck happened to be all guys. I just am avoiding comments from those out there that want to point out that I forgot the women that fight fires. They are appreciated too, but the guys are more "hot" to me!!

BOGUS CUSTOMER COMPLAINT

I had this early 20-something girl get on my bus last week. She sat way in the back seat and talked loudly on her cell phone. She began to use quite a bit of profanity, so I felt obligated to say something for the sake of the rest of the passengers. I got on the microphone and made a general announcement to the effect of "We don't mind you using cell phones on the bus, but cussing is not allowed and will not be tolerated."

She seemed to quiet down for a while, but then the cussing started again. I pulled into a bus stop and told her this was her stop, she'd have to get off the bus. She gave a fake "sorry" and I told her my line that I seem to be making famous..."This is not baseball, you do not get three strikes. You need to get off the bus or the transit police will come and take you off." She then stated she had to get to work. I told her then she should have listened the first time I told her to stop cussing. She'd have to get off the bus.

She stormed to the front of the bus. I was thinking I should have snuck my pepper spray out. She seemed angry and not very reasonable. I don't like to pull it out unless I am going to use it. Even then, I like to do it discreetly so it is not taken as a threat. The element of surprise is helpful, too! As it turns out, she just wanted to get a good look at my driver number and inform me that she was going to call in and complain. I told her to feel free to call in. I hadn't done anything wrong, she did.

After she got off the bus, I immediately called the Control Center to let them know about the situation and to ask them to record the time in case she called in. That would make it easier to find on the video. They said they would and told me to fill out an incident report. Bummer. That's like half an hour of paperwork. I wasn't happy about it, but I did as they requested.

A couple days later I got a note from the dispatcher just as I was getting ready to pull out and start my day. This chick called in and lied!! She basically said she was just talking on her phone and I yelled at her so she turned it off. Then she said that I told her to "get the fuck off the bus or I'm calling the police" !!!!!!!! Can you believe it!!!!! What a liar!!

To make it worse, I pulled out and made my first stop at the Uptown station. Guess who was standing there waiting for my bus! You have no idea how hard it was for me not to confront that lying little bitch!! Instead, I used something I recently had in a training program that teaches you to deal with difficult people and situations. I just ran over and over in my head "be the bigger person, be the bigger person.." I chose to pretend she didn't exist and continued to greet, chat and be pleasant with the rest of my customers and enjoy my day.

Needless to say, I spoke with my manager and he said the complaint had already been "handled". He will look at the video eventually, but they know me well enough to know that I wouldn't be cussing out a passenger...especially when the reason I am kicking them off the bus is for cussing!! Thank God for all the bus cameras!!

STILL HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT

No one has found me yet!! The contest is still on. I realize the Twin Cities is a large hunting ground, so here are a couple hints to help you find me this week.

I will be doing two routes per day this week.

Both routes run between south and northeast through downtown Minneapolis.

Good luck!

I THINK I MET YOUR MOM

I had the most adorable trio of little old ladies on my bus last week. They sat behind me and I couldn't help but enjoy their conversation. They seemed to be having a great time. During their conversation, one lady let a cuss word fly and the others giggled.

One lady was saying how, years ago when she had school age children, a friend had stopped by and wanted her to try marijuana with her. Another friend that was there just wanted to see what it looked like. The others puffed away on the joint and seemed to enjoy the forbidden pleasure. Then she said "but we had to quick open the windows and air out the house before the kids got home from school!"

I laughed to myself, as I wondered if MY mom ever did such a thing. Heck, I had to get my wild streak from someone! I called my mom later that day and told her the story. Then I asked if SHE had ever done that. She pleads innocent. I believe her.

Maybe it was YOUR mom that was on my bus!!

SHE BACKED ME UP !!

Unfortunately, it is pretty rare that other passengers will stand up for the bus driver. Normally, people prefer not to get involved and just sit and watch the show.

Last week, I was driving the route 11. I had just started out from 40Th and Central and was heading for downtown. I picked up a handful of people. One nice lady got on with a large tray of pretty purple flowers that I'm sure she was going home to plant outside. The weather was typical of spring. The sun was shining but there were spurts of fast, light rain occasionally. There was even a rainbow...always awesome to see!

A few blocks later there were two boys in their late teens standing at the bus stop. One had a bike. I opened the door and the one without the bike immediately tried to play "Let's make a deal" with the fare. He told me he had a transfer and wanted to pay a dollar for his friend. I told him the fare was $1.75. He put in the transfer and again tried to make a deal with the fare for his friend. I told him the fare was $1.75. That is what everyone else on the bus paid and it wouldn't be fair for him to pick his own price. I mentioned his friend had a bike, a lot more than some people have. They decided the friend would ride his bike and they'd meet up.

The kid sat in the seat right behind me. Across the aisle in the peanut seat area was the lady with the flowers. The kid started mumbling how he couldn't believe I made his friend ride his bike in the rain. I couldn't help myself. I get tired of everything being the bus drivers fault. I told him that I didn't bring him or his friend outside and if he didn't want to get wet on a rainy day it would be best to stay home. The real kicker was the rain wasn't bad. In fact, there was more sun than rain. Anyway, I stopped myself when I realized how stupid I was being. No point in trying to speak sensibly to a grumpy teenager. I decided to leave it alone and just enjoy the day.

The kid grumbled to himself a little more and the flower lady couldn't help herself. She shook her finger at the kid and said " I know you. You ride this bus all the time and you are always trying to get away with something. You never pay the fare right. It isn't fair to all the rest of us. We pay the fare every day...all day!" I was surprised. I don't do this route too often and didn't recognize the kid as a chronic fare evader, but that lady sure did! He seemed a little embarrassed to have been caught and tried "You must be thinking of someone else." She immediately confronted him further "No, it's YOU. You are always trying to get away with something!" The kid realized he was busted and wisely chose to just shut up.

I wanted so much to chime in and support this lady! I wanted her to know I appreciated her backing me up. As I considered doing so, my common sense busted in and ruined my fun. I decided it would be too much like we were ganging up on the kid and I chose to leave it alone. She did fine on her own. I did give her a big smile as she got off and asked her about her flowers. She was pleasant as can be. If the kid wasn't sitting right there, I'd have thanked her for putting him in his place.

When the kid got off downtown I treated him like everyone else. I said "Thank you, have a nice day." I think that really threw him off. It was actually kind of funny. You could just see that he wanted to be pissed, but I was being so happy and nice with everyone...including him, it just messed him up.

I hope to see that lady again...hopefully, soon. I just want to thank her.

LET THE GAME BEGIN !!!!

TODAY IS THE DAY !!!

The contest to see who can find me first is officially on! YOU COULD WIN PRIZES!!

Here's how it works. The first person to find me driving one of my routes who says the winning phrase to me wins. Simple as that.

There are a few rules I made up to make it fair.
My friends, family and coworkers are not eligible to win.
I must be driving the bus, not out on the street somewhere.
You must say the phrase for THIS contest (not the one I had last fall) in order to win.

The prizes are pretty cool. They are; a really neat Messenger Bag (so cool, I got myself one!)
the new and improved Beer Stein Style Mug
a bumper sticker and a pin.

Yep, that's right...one lucky winner takes it all!!

The phrase you need to say to me is.... "Picking up strangers is fun!" *

Start looking and good luck!!

Disclaimer, for those who take things a little to literally...
* I do not intend for anyone to go picking up people you don't know. It can be dangerous! This is simply referring to the name of my blog, since it IS what I do for a living!
Be smart, be safe!

CONTEST COMING SOON !!!!

I had so much fun last fall with the contest, I'm gonna do it again. For those of you unfamiliar with the contest, it is basically the first person to find me driving a bus and giving the winning phrase is the winner! Friends, family and co-workers are not eligible to win. I will be starting the contest soon and will put up a blog to announce the start of the contest. THE CONTEST WILL NOT START UNTIL I PUT UP THE BLOG ANNOUNCING THE START OF THE CONTEST.

I've ordered new prizes for the contest. I decided to keep the beer stein style mug and added a stylish courier-type shoulder bag. Thanks to my big brother for adding to the choice of prizes. If you are interested to see what they are like, go to www.cafepress.com/pickingup to view the prizes and other stuff. Maybe next time I'll take suggestions as to what to get for the prizes.

Soon I will put up the blog to announce the beginning of the contest and to give the winning phrase that you must say to the driver in order to see if it is me and if you have won. For hints on what routes I drive and a little about what I look like...read the blog! I often mention what routes I am on. I have mentioned a couple things about what I look like that are a dead giveaway.

Keep checking the blog...the contest is coming SOON!

FREE WHEELIN'

Last week I was driving the 12 for 10 hours a day. Not a bad route. A lot of the people are regulars. One regular, in particular, I was less than happy to see. She's a lady in a wheelchair that usually has her 3 kids with her. She is well known for not paying her fare...or her kids fares.

I have had problems with this lady for about the past 2 years. I don't see her too often, since I switch routes so much. I have had her quite a bit on the 21 and the 12. I have let her go with a stern warning at least half a dozen times. Usually, it's because she has her kids and I don't want to involve the police with them there. I've also let her slide due to poor weather and the fact that she is in a wheelchair. The last time I had her on, she had her three kids. As usual, she didn't pay. I was fed up, but the weather sucked AND she had the kids with her. I put a little bass in my voice and warned her this was her last free ride. Next time, I would call the police and she'd be taken off the bus and given a $180 fare evasion ticket. When I got to her stop in downtown Hopkins and was unhooking her wheelchair, the oldest boy asked if I had called the police. He seemed a little distressed and was afraid his mom was going to jail. I explained to him that I didn't call the police this time, but that when people ride the bus they have to pay a fare. I told him his mom had a habit of riding without paying the fare and that was illegal. If I did have to call the police on her, she would get a very expensive ticket but she would not be taken to jail. He seemed relieved. The kids are great, actually. They are well behaved, fun kids. Their mom, on the other hand, irritates the hell out of me. It's not just that she doesn't pay the fare but that she pretty much ignores the three kids. She's always on her cell phone, loudly, for the entire trip. One time she had an Ipod or something, but she never seems to interact with her kids. Maybe that's why they get along so well. They are all they have. Mom has all the toys. The kids never have anything. Makes me wanna take them home and spoil them rotten!

Anyway, Miss never-pays-a-fare got on my bus on Monday. Decent weather, no kids...the chance I'd been waiting for. After I tied down the wheelchair, I stood there as she went through her pockets and purse repeatedly. I knew she didn't have a transfer. I also knew she just got off the 21. She never pays. Realizing I wasn't going anywhere without payment, she smiled and threw her hands up and said "no money". I told her not this time. I went and checked with the other driver to see if she had paid on his bus. He had relieved the other driver so he didn't know. Knowing she would have a transfer if she had paid and that she NEVER pays, I got back on my bus and called Control. I told them I had a chronic fare evader (that's what we call them) on the bus and would like the police to come handle it.

Realizing I was calling the police, the lady tried to hand me 36 cents. I told her no way. I had let her go far too many times already and she needed to know this was not acceptable. The police arrived. One officer recognized the lady and asked if I had called about her before. I told him I have had fare problems many times but never called because she usually had her kids with her or the weather was bad. This time I had had enough and there were no kids to scare and the weather was good. I requested that he give her the $180 ticket because the warnings were not working and there needed to be consequences for this repeat behavior. He indicated that he understood and said "By the way, it's $240 now. It went up." As usual, a passenger offered to pay her fare when he saw that I was unhooking her wheelchair tie downs so the officer could remove her from the bus. The officer told the guy that this was an ongoing problem with her and it needed to be taken care of. I was very glad the officer saw my dilemma and was taking action.

The lady was taken off the bus and from what I hear she did get the $240 ticket. I had her get on a couple days later and ,for the first time, she paid her fare! She actually overpaid. She put in a dollar instead of the 75 cent mobility fare. Seems even with the ticket, she's got money to blow. I've spoken with other drivers that know her and they said she's been paying on their buses too. I guess she did the math and realized $240 would have paid a whole lot of 75 cent fares!

No more free wheelin'!!

GANGSTER IN FUZZY SLIPPERS

I was driving the 11 and this kid about 17-18 years old got on. He had white three-quarter length pants on, sagging off his butt. A knit hat all crooked and barely sitting on his head. By far the funniest part of his wardrobe were the fuzzy black slip-on slippers he had on his feet. I tried not to laugh as he got on waving a dollar. He gave his best fake smile, tried to look cute and said "All I have is a dollar." I put my hand to block the bill feeder on the farebox and informed him the fare was $1.75. He asked if anyone had any change. Everyone on the bus ignored him. Finally, the little liar finally reached into his pocket...somewhere about mid-calf area...and pulled out another dollar. He mumbled about how the bus was taking all his money and went to sit down. He had his headset on so loud I could "name that tune" if I had brushed up on my gangsta rap crap. He sat there throwing gang signs to himself and anyone else that bothered to pay any attention to him. That got him absolutely no response, so he decided to sing along with his tunes.

After hearing a string of profanities longer than any of us on the bus cared to, I got on the mic and loudly told him that profanity is not allowed on the bus. He said "I'm just singing along with my music." I told him I didn't care what he listened to, but he wasn't going to use that language on the bus. His response "My bad." He kept bopping his head and tossing signs, seeming a little annoyed that no one seemed to care.

As he got off the bus downtown, he cussed up a storm and glared at me as he went out the back door. I laughed out loud. Some of the other passengers looked at me like "be careful!" I said "It's kind of hard to be a tough guy when you're walking around in fuzzy slippers!" They all laughed.

I MADE A FUNNY

Anyone that knows me knows that April Fools Day is a day that was made for me. I like to mess with people. I decided to play a joke at work...try and brighten someones day.

I pulled in at 3 AM on April first after a very long 12 hour split day. I asked the dispatcher for paperwork to write up an accident. I told him I'd need an extra sheet to explain in detail what happened. I sat down, laughed to myself and filled out the form.

Name: Anonymous
Date of birth: Yes
Sex Male or Female: ?
Date hired: What?
Drivers license number: I don't have one
Number of passengers on bus: A bunch
Number of people in other vehicle: Didn't look
Damage to bus: Lots - I left quickly though, so I hope no one saw me!
Damage to other vehicle: Even more! I peeled outta there!
Control center called yes or no: Heck no!
Supervisor at scene: No way!
Police at scene: I hope not!
Injured persons: Didn't stick around to get names. Are you kidding me?!

Description of accident: I was at a stoplight. I knew it was gonna be a long one, so I figured it was a safe time to hit my crack pipe. The pipe got really hot and burned my fingers so I dropped it on the floor. When I reached to pick it up, I spilled the cold beer that was in my lap onto the floor. When I reached for the can, I accidentally floored the gas and flew through the intersection and hit two cars and a fire truck. Being a little paranoid about getting caught, I put my "Drop off only" sign on and turned off the passenger signal and got out of the area as quickly as possible. Of course, I didn't collect any courtesy cards or call Control or anything.
By the way, can I get Workers Comp for my burned fingers? I can't seem to grip the steering wheel very well due to the blisters.
Enjoy your April Fools Day! :)

Signed: Bus driver
Date: Sometimes
Address: Under the 35W bridge at Lake Street

I turned it in. Later I found out the safety guy thought it was hilarious. He sent a copy to our Risk Management department and asked them how this one should be classified. They thought that was pretty funny, too. Seems it made some rounds in emails. My fellow drivers have been requesting copies of the report from me. I'm glad I could brighten so many peoples day! April Fools Day should be once a month!

Life is short....enjoy it!

WHO HIT ME?

I thought I put this blog up, guess I forgot. It was pretty funny. I was driving the 21 and had just turned back onto Lake street after leaving the Chicago Transit Center. There was a guy that had fallen asleep in his seat. He was way drunk.

The drunk guy fell onto the floor. He just laid there. He didn't seem to move or anything so I immediately called Control. People on the bus were telling him to get up or the driver was going to have the cops come. As he laid there curled in a fetal position with his head under the seat across the aisle from where he had been sitting he suddenly moaned "No, I'm alright. I'm okay." I was glad to hear him speak. One guy said "Man, you're laying on the floor of the bus!" He eventually got up and back into his seat. I turned and asked him if he was okay or if he needed any medical help. He said he was fine. I told him I just wanted to be sure, because it sounded like it hurt when he fell. He didn't want any help. Control called and I told them the guy seemed alright. He was laughing and joking with another guy and refused any medical help. Control told me to try and get his name and write up a report when I got in. They would get the security tape from the bus cameras to put with the report and we let it go at that.

He kind of shook off the jolt of the fall and looked around, checking out each person near him. Then he said "Who hit me?" It was hilarious. The guy he was joking with laughed and assured him that no one had hit him, he had just fallen out of his seat. Others around him were laughing, too.

Of course, he was the last one on when I got to the end of the route. I told him I had to write a report and would like his name for the report. He looked like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. He said "No, I can't tell you that!" I asked him where he was trying to go. He said "South Minneapolis" I said "So far, so good. You're here." He then said he was trying to hook up with the 18. As much as I didn't want to, I offered him a ride back to the garage with me. The 18 comes right on the corner there. He seemed suspicious. I could just see him thinking about how I had asked his name. I must be the enemy. He said he was fine where he was. I proceeded to pull in to the garage, by myself, to start my half hour of paperwork. Sucks. It was on a Friday night and I just wanted to go home. Oh well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do!

Still makes me laugh to myself.... "Who hit me?"

FUNNY BUMPER STICKER

I liked this one...thought I'd share.

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

I'LL WAIT FOR YOU

I was driving the 21 route into downtown St. Paul. There were two teenage girls in the back talking a little loudly to each other. The bus was pretty full and everyone seemed to be talking, so I couldn't tell, but suspected the girls were cussing. As I got into downtown and the crowd thinned, my suspicions rang true. I heard them using the F word like it was one of the few words in their vocabulary. I got on the microphone and announced that profanity was not allowed on the bus. One girl said it didn't matter, they were getting off soon anyway. As I pulled out of the bus stop, the F bomb went flying again. There was no one behind me, so I immediately pulled back into the bus stop and told them to get out. They seemed surprised. I told them I had JUST told them not to cuss on the bus and I opened both doors and sat. When they realized I wasn't going anywhere, the potty-mouthed girl told her friend she'd meet her at the bus stop. The other girl said "I'll wait for you." The bad girl got off the bus.I proceeded to the bus stop in the next block. The other girl looked anxious as I passed the bus she wanted that was sitting at the bus stop with his flashers on. The 21 has a designated stop on the far side of the intersection. I pulled in slowly, secretly hoping she'd miss her bus. There has to be some kind of punishment!

I sat there as she ran for her bus, which had just pulled away from the curb. She ran two blocks and caught the bus. I laughed to myself as I thought of her "friend" that would be looking for her at the last bus stop. What a great friend. I guess "I'll wait for you" only means if you get there before the bus leaves! What a wonderful friendship.

HOMELESS DRUNK PIMP

I was picking up passengers in Dinkytown at the McDonalds stop. Most were college students, as usual. One was a drunk carrying a garbage bag filled, no doubt, with all his worldly goods. I recognized him as a pimp from the 1980's. He used to hang out at the notorious Moby Dicks bar on Hennepin avenue on what is now called Block E. He used to dress flashy and wear pimp shoes...whatever the most stylish skins were. Snake, gator or whatever. Seems the current recession even hits the pimps hard!

If you are wondering how I know this loser, I used to work downtown in an office in the 80's. After work I would meet my boyfriend at Mobys. They had very strong drinks and at night would open up the back area which had a dance floor and great music. We'd drink, dance and watch the colorful characters. There were a few other business people scattered among the pimps, hookers and drug dealers. It was better than TV!

Anyway, this drunk, homeless pimp rides into downtown. He keeps talking, mostly to himself, about negative and sometimes racist junk. (He is black and doesn't seem to want to share the world with anyone that isn't his skin tone.) Once he started cussing and singling people out to force conversation, I decided to put an end to his rants. I turned around in my seat and informed him that he wasn't allowed to cuss on the bus and he needed to leave other people alone. He backed down and apologized. As we crossed the light rail tracks, I heard him again using profanity. I pulled up to the bus stop and told him this was his stop. I told him I had warned him once and that this was not baseball and he did not get three strikes...this was it. He picked up his garbage bag and slowly wandered out the front door, mumbling all the way.

The other passengers were visibly relieved and some seemed to relax, sinking into their seats. I was glad he was off the bus with no altercation. You never know when someone is going to get physical. Unfortunately, it happens quite often. As I drove off, I looked at this old pimp. Drunk. Dirty. Walking down the street with a garbage bag full of whatever. Quite a difference from 20 years ago when he stood tall and flaunted around like a peacock with all those expensive clothes and shoes he had. Just goes to show you, fast money goes twice as fast...you can't count on someone else to make YOUR living...there's no future in being a pimp! Heck, they should put before and after pictures of that guy in the bus shelters. Show these kids downtown that there's no future in that lifestyle.

I WISH THAT I WAS BIGGER

A drunk guy got on my 6 route and rode all the way to Southdale Mall with me. As I had predicted to myself, he was knocked out when I got there. I tried my loud whistle and yelling to wake him up. No luck. I try to stay away from drunks since I have often seen them wake up hostile and sometimes swinging when approached. I called Control and they said they would send the Transit Police. They asked if it may be a medical situation. I second-guessed myself and told them I was unsure, but thought he was just drunk.

As I waited on my layover, I decided he was out of it enough for me to do my lost and found check. I walked past him and checked the bus. I walked past him toward the front so I could be near a door if necessary and, keeping my distance, I yelled to him again. He attempted to lift his head and open his eyes. I asked "What's the problem?" He mumbled angerly "What's your fuckin' problem?!" I left it at that and waited for help.

Help didn't show up until I was back in route. I pulled over at 53rd and France when I saw the squad. It was a K-9 squad. As the officer approached my front door, I offered "I'll trade you a drunk for a dog!" The officer didn't seem overly amused. He proceeded to try and get the drunk up and off the bus. He was having quite a hard time. The guy wasn't exactly fit and trim. The officer got him onto the floor and cuffed him. He then tried to pick the guy up and was obviously not going to be able to do it alone. I secured the bus and went to attempt to help. I'm about 5'4" on a good day. I grabbed one arm and the officer grabbed the other. We literally had to drag the guy out the front door. I told the cop I bet he wished he had a big guy bus driver to help. As the guy laid outside the bus, the officer turned him onto his side to check for weapons and stuff. The guy had really glassy eyes and seemed to look right through us. It was creepy. I wondered what was wrong with him. It seemed to be more than just being drunk.

I helped the officer get the guy to his feet and bend him over the trunk of the squad car. I'm thinking, "now what?" as the officer thanked me for my help and told me I could go. I'm guessing he had help on the way, since I doubt they put people in the squad in the back seat with the dog.

I hope the guy was okay. Guess I'll never know. One thing I DO know...in situations like that, I wish that I was bigger!

OFF TO A BAD START

I had just pulled out from the garage and gotten on the highway to drive to the U of M to start my 6 route. As I merged onto the highway, the metal flap just under the drivers side window flew wide open and flapped up and down in the breeze. I immediately threw on my hazard lights and drove as far right in my lane as I could, trying to make it to the bus stop over Lake street. People were honking at me and pointing at the metal flapping up and down. I pulled into the bus stop and got out to see if I could fix it. I realized I needed to get the door handle to secure the flap. The door handle is also a tool for use on other parts of the bus.

I got back on the bus and tried to pull the handle out. It wouldn't budge. I called Control as I continued to try and remove the handle. They called me back and I explained my situation. They said they'd send a service truck. As I waited for the truck, I decided to try and push the handle one notch forward and open the door and try to get it out. After a little pulling, it worked. I went back out and secured the flap. Feeling pretty proud of myself, not really being a fix-it kind of girl, I called Control back. As I was waiting for them to respond, the service truck pulled up. I told the guy I had been able to fix it and was just waiting for Control to call me back. I was about 15-20 minutes behind at this point and had to see what they wanted me to do. I didn't want to be on the highway when they called. They frown on us being on the phone when driving. Actually, we can be written up for it. It is a very understandable safety issue.

They filled part of my first trip and I drove to MCTC (the school on Hennepin) to start my trip. That was the start of a strange day. The next two stories tell of what happened later that day.

I DON'T CARE !!! STOP LAUGHING !!!

I was driving the 21 this past week. I usually avoid it like the plague. It was all I could get to get off at a decent hour. It was a split with the 46 earlier so it evened it out. One extreme to the other. Boringly mellow route to anything can (and does) happen route!

I was running early, so I was sitting in the bus stop at Lake and Cedar. The light turned green but I was still early so remained stopped. This lady, who was obviously born a few bricks short, says loudly in a rude tone, "Driver, the light is green. You can GO!" I could see she had issues, so I replied sincerely "Actually, I'm running early. I have to wait here until I am on schedule." She complains "I have to be somewhere at 5:30! Just go!" I told her I was on a schedule and could get written up if I left this stop early. She yells "I don't CARE!!" I said calmly, "I'm sure you don't ,but I do. I have to wait." She continued on about how terrible bus drivers are and how she was going to be late because of the bus driver. I mentioned that if she needed to be somewhere at 5:30, she probably wanted at least a bus or two that ran before me.

Miss "I don't care" was sitting in the first forward facing seat on the passenger side. She was not happy with me. The lady in the peanut seat said to me "You know, it's going to be all your fault that she is late." I thought "Oh, great. Another moron." As I looked over at the lady, she busted out laughing. That made me laugh. I said "Yes, I know. It's always the bus drivers fault. I'm used to it." The lady with issues yells "Stop laughing!! It's not funny!" This made me and the peanut seat lady laugh a little more.

As I waited for the light to turn green again so I could finally leave on my schedule, the peanut seat lady and I chatted. Just as I pulled away from the curb, the bell rang. I was almost surprised...Miss I don't care was getting off at the next stop! Issues, man...Issues! The funny lady and I were talking and she was laughing as I pulled into the bus stop. The mean lady yelled as she got off the bus, "I said stop laughing!!" As she got off the last step, she turned and threw up her middle finger at me as she gave me an evil scowl. The funny lady just roared. She thought that was hilarious. I closed the door and began to pull away. I said "Thanks a lot! Now she thinks I was laughing at her!" The funny lady said "No, I think she realized it was me. She stuck her tongue out at me as you pulled off!" I said, "Well, at least she thinks I'M number one!"

THE ACCIDENT

Recently, there was a very tragic accident involving a bus hitting and killing a woman. The driver is a co-worker I actually was in training with about eight and a half years ago. Really nice guy.

There have been conflicting stories around the drivers room. I'm not sure what is exactly the truth. Seems the only thing that every story has the same is that the woman was crossing the street and the bus was turning and hit her. She was dragged about 20 feet and died. The driver never knew anything happened. He was called a mile or two away and stopped the bus. He was given the standard drug and alcohol tests and put on leave. Not even the passengers on the bus knew anything happened. From what I heard, even in the video, the woman was barely visible because she was wearing all dark colors. The bus was one of the new hybrids with the digital camera out the front window to show everything in front of the bus. Seems she walked into the side of the bus somewhere near the front tire. This was truly a tragic accident.

The buzz around the drivers room now is that the driver was fired. Many drivers are very angry about this. It was an ACCIDENT!! Not one driver can say they haven't had numerous close calls. This time, it just wasn't avoided. Just a week or so ago when I was driving down Nicollet Mall, an older woman came out of a business and was walking quickly toward the street. She was looking the opposite direction as she stepped out into the street about 7-8 feet in front of my bus. I blew my horn and she hopped back onto the curb, grabbing her chest out of fear. She gave me a very relieved smile and waved as if to say "thank you" I shook my head and waved back and I was on my way. If I hadn't happened to notice her coming out of the store among all the other people on the mall, I probably would have hit her. It is all too common. People just don't check for traffic. They assume we will see them. There are many large blind spots on the bus and it is easy NOT to see someone.

Logic tells you, that eventually someone is going to be hit. In fact, the news reported there were 3 city bus/pedestrian deaths in nearly 10 years. That amazes me. Knowing how many I have been lucky enough to avoid in the past eight and a half years and multiplying that by about 2000 bus drivers...it's amazing there aren't more people killed. I think it is very wrong to fire the driver. In fact, some drivers talked about having a day we all call in sick to show our support for him. We all realize that it could have been any of us. One driver said that would probably not be supported by the Union and suggested we all sign a petition for him to be hired back...no loss of pay or seniority. I am more than willing to sign a petition. I thank God it wasn't me. I can't imagine living with the fact that you killed someone even though it was an accident. Then you are fired??!!??? That is just wrong.

My heart goes out to the family of the lady that died. Seeing the news on TV and in the paper, she seemed to be a wonderful person. She loved music. She traveled and brought back the music from the places she had been. She shared this music and cultural food from the places she visited with her family and friends. She just seemed like a genuinely great person. It is a true loss to her family, friends and the entire community. I bet even she wouldn't want the driver to have to not only live his life knowing he drove the bus that killed her, but to lose his job on top of it. It's just wrong.

There, but for the grace of God...

OH NO!! I'M A RACIST!!

I was just starting out on the 11 one day from south Minneapolis. There was a guy that had gotten on. There was also an elderly lady with a walker that was also on my bus. I had let them both on and still had a few minutes so I read the paper as I waited for my departure time.

I left, right on time. By the time I got to 38Th street I was nearly 2 minutes behind. I had picked up quite a few people. I pulled up to the stop on 35Th street. Someone got on. The stoplight turned green and I pulled away from the bus stop and into the intersection. Kitty-corner from me I saw a lady waving her arms and running for the bus. I threw up my hands. I even said out loud "What? I can't stop in the middle of the intersection." There were cars behind me and cars parked all along the curb in the next block so there was nowhere I could pull over safely. It was just one of those times you had to keep going.

Much later, as I was getting near downtown, the guy that got on on my layover said loudly from mid-bus "You should have stopped for that lady on 35Th." I was caught off guard. I tried to explain that there was nowhere to stop and I was in the intersection. I even told him I was a couple minutes late at that point and she should have been at the bus stop on time. He then said I sat at my layover too long and that is why I was late. I tried to explain that I made a lot of stops and THAT is why I was late. Then he said "It's all in the color." He was a black guy. The lady running was Mexican or Indian or something, if I remember right. Me, being a white girl, only failed to stop in the intersection because the lady running wasn't white...yeah, sure. If he looked around the bus, I was by far the minority. Besides, if I were racist I sure picked the wrong job, not to mention I was living in the wrong city!! I didn't feel the need to prove myself to this loser by running down my personal history. I chose instead to just say "If you knew ANYTHING about me, you'd know what a ridiculous comment that was." I just hate it when people throw the race card for stuff that has nothing to do with race. It is like crying wolf. When there actually IS an issue with someone that really IS a racist, no one wants to hear it.

The best part came when I was telling this story to a friend of mine. She's a gay girl who I work with. She said I should have told him I kept going because I was homophobic and thought she looked like she might be gay. THAT was freakin' hilarious!! Can you imagine the reaction THAT would have gotten??!!

A FEW CHARACTERS ON ROUTE 11

I've been driving the 11 route a lot lately. Some of the same people get on every day. Same stop. Same time.

One guy, I'll call him The Whistler, got on every day. He was in his late 20's. Polite and nicely dressed, he'd always sit in the front. Later a young lady would get on and sit by him and they would chat until they both got off at the same stop. Their conversations were quiet and between each other. Every time the guy would say something with an "s" in it, there was a faint whistle. It got to be pretty funny. Every day, there was this quiet conversation with the constant little whistles in it. I'm glad I am off to a different route next week. It's one of those things that can go from funny to annoying quite quickly.

There was this other lady that kind of made me laugh to myself. She is an elderly lady that likes to wear strange eye make-up. It's that sparkly stuff young teen girls put on their skin. No real color to it, just glittery sparkles. She wears it all around her eyes all the way down to her cheek bones. She's normally quite pleasant. She just has one trick she likes to try and pull. Though she gets on with a transfer, she often asks for a transfer as she's leaving the bus. I am always polite and tell her something to the effect of "The transfer you got on with is still good." Or "You used a transfer when you got on. You'll have to pay a fare again for another one." She always acts surprised as she exits the bus.

I had one chick that really annoyed me. She only got on once...thank God! She put in a monthly pass and handed it out the door to who I am assuming was her boyfriend. I told her that wasn't allowed. He could then hop on a bus and it would be two for one. Heck, he could stand at the bus stop and do that all day for people. They both insisted he wasn't getting on another bus. I told them that a monthly pass must be in your possession while you ride the bus as proof that the fare was paid and to avoid this fraud. It is only good for the owner of the pass, not for everyone they want to provide rides for AND themselves for a month. They claimed that they did this every day and I am the only driver that has ever said anything. I told them that it was illegal every day and they could get a $180 fare evasion ticket every day. I wasn't going to argue with them. I told the girl she needed to pay a fare, get the pass back or get off the bus. The guy gave her the pass back and I shut the door and pulled off. The girl went to sit down and said loudly "And you better have me at my stop on time!"

OHHHHHHH! How I wished she was the only person on the bus. I'd have driven about 5 miles per hour just to make sure she was late! Actually, in all honesty, that's what I would have LIKED to do. In real life, I prefer to rise above ignorance and just do my job to the best of my abilities. It wouldn't be fair to have other people waiting at bus stops while I'm late due to her nasty attitude.

RETURN OF BACK DOOR GUY

One of the passengers I hate to see coming got on my bus again the other night. (search blog for "GOOFY") The part that sucks is that I could have kept going! I was driving the 12 close to midnight. I'm cruising around Lake Calhoun heading into uptown. I passed the shelter at West Calhoun Parkway when I heard someone yell. I stopped the bus. It was the Back Door Guy. Damn! If I'd have known, I'd have kept going. He had been bent over in the shelter. There are things that already block your view as you are driving up...a big electrical box, and either a bench or magazine stands. I forget which. You can see someone standing up, but who'd think someone would be in there all bent over??

This guy ALWAYS has issues. I wasn't looking forward to seeing what it would be that night. I was just finishing a ten hour shift and wanted to go home without hassles. Sure enough, he got in and put in his expired transfer. It had expired nearly half an hour earlier. I usually let stuff go if it is 10 minutes or less. I figure that's close. Half an hour is not. If they wanted transfers to last 3 hours they would have made them for 3 hours and not the 2 and a half that they are. I really didn't feel like arguing, so I offered a deal. I told him he could insert the transfer into the bill slot and it would count as a free ride. I knew he just wanted to keep the transfer to continue using it on other buses so I was trying to nip that in the bud. He said he wanted to keep his transfer. I told him he would have to pay a fare then. He proceeded to tell me about all his friends and the mobility and other issues they have. I have no idea what that had to do with the fare. I think he just likes to try and distract you.

I told him he had three choices. Put the transfer into the bill slot, pay a fare or get off the bus. Being the difficult person that he seems to enjoy being, he put his own twist on one of my options. He wanted to HAND me the transfer! GRRRRR....I took the transfer and put it directly into the bill slot.

God doesn't hate me too much, the guys' trip was short. He was getting off the bus at Lake and Girard. I'm sure he was going to wait for the 21 next. He had told me that he wanted to use the transfer again on the next bus....another reason I confiscated it. You can't ride all night on a long-ago expired transfer. As he was getting off, he kept his foot in the door and said "At least let me tell you about my mobility problems.." I had about 3 minutes to get to Uptown station to meet the 6. I growled back at him "I don't have time for this! I have to meet a bus so some of these people can catch it." Some of my passengers backed me up and told him to get off the bus, they had to go.

A little backup goes a long way. He took his foot off the bottom step and I flew to the station to hook up with the 6. If I never see him again, it would be too soon!

By the way, if you want to know why I call him the Back Door Guy...it's just another of his issues on another day. He insisted in coming in the back door because he had "legitimate medical issues" that required him to use the back door to enter the bus. ??????????? Within days of that, he got on, bopping up the front steps. I purposely gave him an exaggerated "thank you" for not pulling the back door thing. I explained how we just don't have time for that kind of stuff. After he got off, I called the Control Center and asked that they pull the tape for proof in the future that he has no problem using the front door. They refused. I got pissed and talked to my manager. He told me to offer the lift and if he refuses, just leave. I didn't want to give this guy a new game. Luckily, he hasn't tried the back door thing lately.

There's always tomorrow!!

DOWNTOWN ZONE

There is a special 50 cent fare for people traveling within the downtown zone. It always amazes me when people try to extend the limits of WHERE the limits are.

There has been a seemingly nice young lady that was getting on at the stop where the downtown zone limits begin all week. One day, she was at the stop just before it. It is about 1-1 and a half blocks away. She smiled and put in 50 cents. I smiled and told her the fare was $1.75. She said she was just going downtown. I told her she was not within the downtown zone limits. She put in another quarter and looked at me. She went and sat down. I turned and looked at her like she lost her mind. I told her the fare was $1.75 and she came up and put in the missing dollar.

She's not a bad person. Just one that thought she'd test the limits. My thing is, there is a downtown zone...period. If you choose not to walk a block to be in it, then you have to pay the full fare. If we start extending the zone, soon people 6 blocks away will be doing the same thing.

The young lady got on the next day at the downtown zone stop. As usual, I smiled and said "Good morning" and she smiled and said "Good morning" to me. When she got off, I gave my usual "Have a nice day" and she thanked me and got off...no harm done.

I think most people know the rules, but some will try to bend them. She wasn't mad at me for enforcing the rules. I know she knew she was wrong. She just didn't know if she could get away with it until she tried. Now she knows...and we are still friendly with each other. That's what counts.

WATERING THE TREES

I was talking to another driver recently who saw quite an interesting sight. She was driving on the edge of downtown Minneapolis and, in the distance, she saw a lady hugging a small tree. As she got closer, she noticed the lady had her pants around her ankles. Seems she REALLY had to pee and, what the heck, if a tree is good enough for a dog to use it was good enough for her to use. Seems she was so drunk, she had a hard time standing back up and used the tree she just "watered" for leverage to stand back up!

You gotta love life in the big city!

PICKING UP STRANGERS.COM - THE BOOK

I had, what I hope will turn out to be, a great idea! It's been thought of before, but not acted on.

I want to write a book of bus driver stories. Seems people really enjoy my blogs. That got me thinking...every bus driver has stories! I'm hoping to get enough stories from my co workers to put together into a book. "Picking Up Strangers.com The Book". I have been putting fliers at each of the 5 bus garages in Minneapolis and St. Paul. I plan to get to the last two garages later today. Hopefully, I get enough drivers to submit their stories. So far, the response has been underwhelming. There are around 2,000 drivers in the system. If I can get 1 in 10 to give me a story, I should have enough.

If you are a driver...Pleeeeeeease submit your stories!! This could be a really fun, interesting book! The info on where to submit stories is/will be on the community board at your garage. If I am able to make the book, I plan to put a copy in each drivers room.

If you are a passenger...bug your driver!! Tell them to submit their stories!! Maybe if I end up making a book, I can do a contest again...this time with the book being one of the prizes.

Wish me luck!!