Sunday, November 28, 2010


I had a really fun guy on my bus recently. We were joking around about how women are always right. How can you tell when a guy has been married a long time? He says "yes, dear" quite often.

He told me he had been married quite a long time. He said he had nothing to worry about because HE was always right. I told him that wasn't going to work. He clarified. He said he's always right because he just agrees with his wife! Then he laughed and topped it off with "she's my better 7/8ths!"

With that attitude he'll be married for life! He was awful young to be so wise!


I had been off for a week vacation. My first day back, I was quite refreshed and in a great mood. I was driving the 18 route, way not my favorite, but I was having fun with the passengers.

One large guy got on wearing a Patriots shirt. I told him that this was a Vikings bus and he'd have to pay waaaaaay extra to ride with that shirt on. He laughed and thought I was amusing. He decided to stand right up front and chat.

Soon, a guy got on wearing a Vikings cap. I said, "Now, THAT is a hat! This guy should get to ride FREE!!" The Vikes fan didn't quite know what he had stepped into, but was also quite amused and laughed as he paid his fare. I continued talking to the Patriot fan "In fact, you should follow him around all day and pay his way wherever he goes!" The Vikes fan laughed and agreed. The three of us had fun chatter all the way into downtown. It was a great ride.

I made the stops through downtown and wished everyone a great day. Suddenly, things became quite uncomfortable. The Patriots fan was the last one on the bus. Things seemed strangely quiet. I tried to break the tension with some awkward comment about him going all the way to the end of the route and how, for some reason, I'm always the last one off the bus.

Out of nowhere, he took a couple steps over and kissed me on the cheek. I was instantly pissed! How dare he!! The fun was over. I, very sternly, told him there was a zone of "personal space" that he had violated and that that was not acceptable. He kind of laughed it off and said "sorry". That pissed me off even more! He was obviously so NOT sorry. I was fuming, but tried my best to remain calm and in control. I told him he should be sorry because what he had just done was a sexual assault and there were numerous cameras on the bus. Suddenly, he got it. He put his hands up, palms facing me and said "I'm REALLY sorry. It won't happen again. Really. I am so sorry!"

I was satisfied that he saw the mistake he made. I don't think he meant any harm. I think he was some bored, lonely guy that got carried away. In his eyes, I could almost see his thoughts...panic, jail cell, " sex offender" tattooed on his forehead. I told him he learned a valuable lesson and to remember...personal space.

When we got to the layover spot a few blocks later, I acted like nothing had happened and told him "Have a nice day" as I opened the door. I was hoping that was enough hint for him to get off the bus. I was still a little worried about what was in this guys' head, but I just acted like all was well. I stayed near the silent alarm.

Luckily, he got off the bus. The rush of relief I felt as I closed the door behind him was unreal. He was a pretty big guy and things could have gone very bad very quickly.

Lesson of the day: Don't kiss the bus driver!!


Occasionally, the Control Center will send us a text. Sometimes it's for a missing child or vulnerable adult. Sometimes it's for someone the police are looking for. Sometimes it's to find someone to fill work. Recently, I got an interesting one. The mental picture it provoked was hilarious.

This particular day the police were looking for:

A white male in his thirties last seen in northeast Minneapolis wearing only a t-shirt and socks.

I'm guessing he'd be pretty easy to spot!
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