Saturday, July 07, 2007

PROTRUDING PENIS

I've been driving the 18 this week. There are a lot of characters on this route. Yesterday, I picked up this goofy guy who was really strange. He was wearing a pair of blue jean overalls that were cut off into quite short shorts. He was dancing and singing at the bus stop as I pulled up. When he headed for my bus, I thought "Oh great...well...at least he's in a good mood."

He got on with his Starbucks plastic cup of ice water. I'm guessing he couldn't afford a REAL drink there but wanted to fit in with the yuppies. It was a failed attempt. He was loud and obnoxious and took forever to find his fare. First he said he was going to "20th and Nicollet". There is no such thing. 20th is actually called Franklin Avenue. Since it was less than a mile away, he seemed to think it would be a free ride. When I told him what the fare was, he eventually pulled out a free ride coupon and paid his fare.

I tried to ignore him the best I could. This is one time I really don't mind calling out streets. It makes me look busier and is a legitimate distraction to the goofs that are often in the peanut seat seeking attention. When I got to Franklin, a lady that was getting off leaned over to me and said "That mans' penis is hanging out!" I looked over and she was right. There it was peeking out a couple inches from his too short overalls. It was just laying there on the seat, staring at everyone. I put a little bass in my voice and looked him right in the eye and said sternly "Sir, you need to cover up." He said "What?" I dipped my eyes to his lap and returned a stern stare to his eyes and repeated "Sir, you need to cover up, NOW." He looked down and saw the lil' guy hanging out and tucked it away saying "Oh my god! I'm sorry. OH, that is so embarrassing!" I continued to drive and ignore him as he went on about how embarrassing that was. When he noticed the event was not getting further attention he got off the bus...this was actually at the very next stop.

I continued on as though nothing had happened. What else can you do? Nearly a mile away when a guy was getting off at Lake street, he leaned over to me and said "That man was ridiculous, you should have called in on him!" The man got off too quickly for me to defend myself. Call and say what? There's no way to prove he did it intentionally, though I still think he did it for attention. He got off a block later so the "threat" was gone. I think I handled it well. I didn't draw any extra attention to the situation and seeing as no one could prove he did it on purpose, there was no need for police. I've run over it a few times in my head and still think I did the right thing.

You be the judge...what would YOU have done. Keep in mind that he acted as though it was not intentional...even if I think it was. Also, he got off a block later. The only thing I feel I could have done (hindsight is 20/20) would have been to call it in as "information only" so they could send a text out to drivers in the area in case he did it again. He'd be more likely to be arrested for indecent exposure if it wasn't a one time thing.

You be the judge.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you did the right thing, but the Information Only is a good step. If this guy is showing everyone his "shortcomings" regularly, it would make other drivers aware of the person.

It might have been a one time thing, but as a man, if my willy was hanging on a plastic seat, I'd DEFINITELY know about it. There's no breeze when it's in your pants.

There's my two inches...er, cents.

9:37 PM  
Blogger Jeanne Ree said...

Being female, I have to use my imagination a little. I can't see how you wouldn't know. I'm pretty convinced he did it on purpose. I don't know why...it really wasn't that impressive!

9:21 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker