YO MOMMA...SURELY, NOT MINE !
I was driving the 2 last week (yep, that's where you could have found me and won a prize!) and this "lady" gets on at Chicago and Franklin. She had obviously been drinking more than her feeble brain could handle and was carrying a large bag of potato chips. She stumbled up the steps and said " I need a courtesy ride." I don't know who started this, but THERE IS NO SUCH THING as a courtesy ride. I explained to her that if there was such a thing everyone would get on and say they needed one and sit down and ride and soon there would be no buses because there is no MONEY to run them!!
This was too much for her, so she switched to plan B. She said "My husband beat me up." I saw no evidence of a beating...no blood, red marks...just the brown hills and valleys she tried to pass off as teeth that were quite frightening. She'll fit right in on Halloween in a couple weeks! Anyway, I knew she was trying the sympathy move. Sorry, wrong driver. I did have just the right question for her, though. I asked her if she'd like me to call the police for her. That caught her totally off guard. She realized lying on her probably-non-existent husband wasn't going to work. She said " I just need to get down to Bloomington." I told her the fare was $1.75 and she'd have to pay like everyone else on the bus. She mumbled something and I told her she'd have to pay the fare or hop off the bus, I had to leave.
This was not what she wanted to hear. She started cussing and got quite loud as she exited the bus. I was just glad to see her going down the stairs. I brushed off her calling me a fuckin' white bitch. (I keep meaning to ask my mom if that was a nickname for me or something. I get called that a lot.) Unfortunately, by the time she got off the bus and I closed the door, the light I was sitting at had turned red. This just gave her the chance to scowl at me and flash her scary brown stubby "teeth". She started banging on the bus door. I ignored her. She continuously flipped me off and started talking about my momma. She said some aweful, nasty things about my momma. That's when I realized she obviously didn't know my momma but must have confused her with her own. My light turned green and, as she flipped me off again, I smiled and waved and said to the people on the bus "Look! She thinks I'm number one!" The bus had been pretty quiet though all of this but then the tension broke. They laughed and seemed to relax a bit.
I thought about it and finally figured it out...she takes after her momma.
This was too much for her, so she switched to plan B. She said "My husband beat me up." I saw no evidence of a beating...no blood, red marks...just the brown hills and valleys she tried to pass off as teeth that were quite frightening. She'll fit right in on Halloween in a couple weeks! Anyway, I knew she was trying the sympathy move. Sorry, wrong driver. I did have just the right question for her, though. I asked her if she'd like me to call the police for her. That caught her totally off guard. She realized lying on her probably-non-existent husband wasn't going to work. She said " I just need to get down to Bloomington." I told her the fare was $1.75 and she'd have to pay like everyone else on the bus. She mumbled something and I told her she'd have to pay the fare or hop off the bus, I had to leave.
This was not what she wanted to hear. She started cussing and got quite loud as she exited the bus. I was just glad to see her going down the stairs. I brushed off her calling me a fuckin' white bitch. (I keep meaning to ask my mom if that was a nickname for me or something. I get called that a lot.) Unfortunately, by the time she got off the bus and I closed the door, the light I was sitting at had turned red. This just gave her the chance to scowl at me and flash her scary brown stubby "teeth". She started banging on the bus door. I ignored her. She continuously flipped me off and started talking about my momma. She said some aweful, nasty things about my momma. That's when I realized she obviously didn't know my momma but must have confused her with her own. My light turned green and, as she flipped me off again, I smiled and waved and said to the people on the bus "Look! She thinks I'm number one!" The bus had been pretty quiet though all of this but then the tension broke. They laughed and seemed to relax a bit.
I thought about it and finally figured it out...she takes after her momma.
posted by Jeanne Ree at 11:01 AM
5 Comments:
Hi this is John from the 46. You can see my transit blog at
http://twincitylines.blogspot.com
other recommendations:
http://www.seattletransitblog.com
http://www.rescuemuni.org
John - Welcome. I remember you from last week. Hopefully, you read some of my blog...you would be one of very few people that actually know what I look like and the contest is still on! You could be the winner...but I'm on a different route this week. Good Luck!!
"I get called that a lot."
gee, i wonder why.
Me, I'd have opened the door long enough to yell, "Why are you showing me your IQ?"
Web - I doubt she knew what an IQ was...I'd have to spell it for her. Hehehe.
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