NO NEED TO B.Y.O.S.

I was driving around on the 9 route. Nice route. Very few issues. Good people. Bathrooms at both ends of the route (woo hoo!). My buddy from the 23 route was in the peanut seat. He's the guy that told Governor Pawlenty that he made a doctors appointment for him...with a proctologist so he could get his head out of his ass. Gotta love this guy.

I pulled up to a stop. Waiting to board was an older guy carrying 2 folding chairs. I recognized him as a regular rider, a pleasant man. I couldn't help myself. As he came up the steps I said "We provide those here. You don't have to bring your own seat." Appreciating the humor, he laughed as he paid his fare. Then I looked over to the peanut seat. My buddy was laughing so hard I thought I'd have to give him CPR!

People are fun.

MY WORKERS COMP CLAIM

I went in to see my boss the other day. I was rotating and rubbing my shoulder. I told him I thought I needed to fill out some Workers Compensation paperwork. He looked at me, seeming just a tad annoyed, and asked me what happened.

I told him there was this little old lady on my bus. She was the cause of it. With the cusser in the last blog and with someone asking me to call an ambulance, I had had an eventful trip.

Quick side trip to the ambulance story - I was loading people and this young girl came up and asked me to call an ambulance. Seeing nothing obviously wrong on my bus, I asked her what the problem was. She pointed to a woman on the sidewalk across the intersection that was laying on her back. The girl told me the older woman had just fallen down. I immediately made a priority call to the Control Center. I pulled up next to the woman, who was surrounded by an older man and a few scared looking little kids. I opened the door and asked if anyone had called to get them help. The old guy said "no". I told them I had help on the way and they thanked me as I left.

Back to my workers comp claim - After all this, the cusser and the fallen woman, the bell rang and an elderly lady came up front to get off the bus. There had been a lot of snow and I was having a hard time finding a safe, shoveled place to let her off. There was none. I was in a residential neighborhood with no other cars around so I decided it would be best to let her off in the plowed street. I found a spot with some fresh sand. I told her, "This looks like a good spot. There is sand there so you won't fall." I lowered the bus (it was one of the new hybrids that "kneel") and as she got off she said "You're a great driver!" Then she got off the bus and turned around. She had a big smile on her face as she threw her arms up in the air and said " You're a WONDERFUL driver!" I said "Well, thank you! You have a great day." I closed the door and continued on my trip.

As I drove I thought, "That lady said that right into the camera that points out the front door. My boss should have a copy of that to play over and over, especially if I were to ever get into trouble at some time." I decided on the next best thing.

I explained the story of the little old lady to my boss. I told him how "great" and "wonderful" she thought I was. As I rubbed my shoulder and winced in fake pain, I told him I hurt my shoulder when I was patting myself on the back. He got a good laugh out of it. In fact, he told other managers about it. I had another manager come to me with fake sympathy and ask how my shoulder was doing. I rubbed it and told her it seemed to be getting better. A few days later, my manager smiled and asked how my shoulder was. I rotated both of them and told him they were BOTH a little sore lately. I even asked if he got the memo that he was supposed to send people to my house to shovel so my shoulders could heal. He claimed he got the memo and the people had been sent. If only that were true!!

We have a good time.

I'M THE "CRADLE OF CREATION"....???

I had this guy on my rather packed bus cussing on his cell phone, loudly, in the back area of the bus. I got on the microphone and said my usual "We don't mind cell phones on the bus, but profanity WILL NOT be tolerated." He replied "Man, I'm 42 years old!" and went back to talking on the phone. Thankfully, he had cut out the cussing.

The bell rang later and I heard him telling the person on his phone he was going to have a chat with the bus driver about our earlier exchange. He was a big guy. He didn't look too happy. I watched him coming all the way to the front of the bus. I thought this could get ugly. He came up to me and said he didn't like the way I spoke to him. I told him I was just letting him know that cussing on the bus wasn't allowed. He apologized, said he was a man and again stated that he just didn't like the way I said it. I told him I apologized if I had offended him, but there is a time and place for everything and the bus is just not the place for that language.

He agreed. He told me he had some problems he was dealing with. Someone owed him a couple hundred dollars. He, again, stated he was a grown man...he was 42 years old. I told him that just makes it worse. We, being the grown-ups, should be setting an example. He agreed again. He told me he didn't mean to offend me because I was "the cradle of creation" and he had nothing but respect for me.

Hmmm...still not sure what he meant. Did it have to do with me being female? I don't know. Just thought it was an interesting phrase. I told him I didn't mean to offend him either. I thanked him for coming and apologizing. I told him that it is very rare for people to not only see they are wrong but to take responsibility for it. I told him how much I appreciated it.

Guess who got on when I was coming back the other way. Yep. The cusser. As he got on, I told him he had no idea how much I appreciated his apology and thanked him for it. I noticed he had gotten on with a buddy. I didn't want to even almost hear what type of language they were using all the way downtown so I used a bus driver trick. I turned the defroster and other 3 fans in front on high. I enjoyed the drive into downtown. Couldn't hear a thing!

PLANTER POLICE

I'm wondering if there are any Planter Police on Nicollet Mall. Some of those planters are driving me crazy!! I like the fall/winter design of the ones that have the birch tree stubs and the pine around the bottom of them and the red twigs standing up around the birch.

The other ones, that look so unnatural, I want to come fix in the middle of the night. Maybe when no one is around, I can. I'm talking about the ones that have the red twigs tied together at the top. Who's lame idea was that??!!?? They look so stupid. Nothing in nature looks like that.

Do you think I could sneak up to the planters and free the twigs? Just untie the tops and let them stand free, like in the other planters? I want to make it my mission...unfortunately, I don't want to go to jail. They are going to have to stay confined and ugly until the spring. Poor twigs.