Picking Up Strangers

BITCHY, BUT FUNNY

2011-09-19T01:40:00.002-05:00

I always greet my customers. Usually, I say "Hi" or "How are you doing" and thank them when they pay their fare.

I had this business woman get on one day. She was dressed like a classy yuppie. Her outfit matched, all the way down to her purse. She didn't have a hair out of place.

Apparently, the look was deceiving. She must have had a rough day. I greeted her with my typical "How are you doing?" and she was very honest. She said "I'm a little bitchy today, if you wanna know the truth."

I couldn't help it, I laughed. That made her smile. I said "Well, I wasn't expecting that! I hope your day gets better!" She said "Thanks, it just did."

Bitchy lady...made the day for both of us!

THANK THE VOLUNTEERS

2011-09-19T01:24:00.002-05:00

I love seeing people helping people.

North Minneapolis was hit by tornadoes this summer. The devastation was unbelievable. A lot of people that were forced from their homes or had much damage were people that had very little in the first place. It was like adding insult to injury. It was sad.

The outpouring of help from the community was fantastic.

I was driving a bus a day or two after the storms. As I pulled up to a bus stop on Nicollet Mall, there were three people standing there with bikes. The bike racks only hold two bikes. It was later at night and buses didn't run as often so I told them they could bring one on the bus, just put it out of the way as much as possible.

They thanked me repeatedly and loaded up their bikes and boarded. The two guys and the girl were talking to each other about their day. They spent over 12 hours on the north side helping with storm clean-up. I noticed when they got on they all paid with transfers, which means they paid cash fares. They spent their own money to catch two buses and ride their bikes to a neighborhood foreign to them to help people in need. I was touched.

I called the Control Center and told them about these people. I had overheard them planning to go back again the next day. I asked for permission to give them each two free ride transfers so they wouldn't have to spend their own money. They thought it was a great idea and told me I could.

I gave them each the transfers as they got off the bus. They acted like I gave them gold. I thanked them for helping people that really needed it. I told them if the world was filled with people like them, it would be an awesome place to live.

If you can't be a volunteer, at least thank one. They truly appreciate it!

SHOES I COULD NEVER FILL

2011-09-10T19:52:00.002-05:00

When I was in training, eleven years ago, one of my instructors said something that I have found to be very true. The people that are not at a bus stop, prepared to catch a bus, are the ones that will cause you trouble.

I was driving up near the cab stand at Nicollet and Grant. There was this young girl that must have been trying to get a deal from the cabbie. She was talking fast and flailing her arms around. The cabbie just looked down and shook his head "no". Then he saw my bus coming and directed her to it, pointing in my direction. Of course, someone rang the bell and I had to make the bus stop. I knew this wasn't going to be good.

I opened the door and my passenger got off the bus. The young girl came running up and asked him for his transfer. He gave it to her, which is illegal. She got on and I informed her that she could not use that transfer. She gave me some sob story about how she was pregnant (how is that my fault??!!??) and she needed to get down to 7Th street. I told her the downtown zone was 50 cents. She said she didn't have any money. Hmmm...about to have a baby and doesn't have 50 cents? Guess our taxes will be supporting that poor baby. Anyway, I informed her that riding without paying the fair was illegal, as was using someone else's transfer. She could get a $180 fine for fare evasion.

I had to get to the midnight line up (all buses meet for 10 minutes so people can connect with other buses...it's a great idea. Makes it easy for passengers.) I didn't want to be late, so I continued to drive as I informed her of the rules. I was secretly hoping the transit police would be there so I could get her a ticket. She had turned into quite a little smart ass. I decided to just leave it alone, not say anything else and just get there. As I drove along, she kept going. Talking about what a heartless bitch I was and how I should put myself in her shoes. Hmmmm...put myself in her shoes. Young, immature, broke, pregnant and running my unborn child around the streets of Minneapolis at midnight. Nope, just couldn't see being irresponsible enough to ever be in her shoes.

She had gotten so mouthy, it was really hard for me to just ignore it. Somehow, I managed to. I wanted to tell her to just shut up. Obviously, the bus was moving so she was getting where she was going. I didn't call the cops. I didn't take the transfer away. I didn't kick her off the bus. She should just shut up and enjoy her free ride. I'm sure there was some Divine intervention that allowed me to just ignore her until she got off the bus.

I was more than disappointed when I got to 7Th street. Not one transit cop in sight. They normally sit right on the corner for the line ups. To top it all off, the too-young-and-irresponsible-to-be-pregnant girl got off and the first thing she did was light up a cigarette. Hmmm...put myself in her shoes. Sorry, just can't do it!

THE VINCI CODE

2011-09-10T19:25:00.002-05:00

I had a rather studious looking young lady on my bus. She was reading a book. The book was kind of thin...obviously not "War and Peace" or anything. This other woman got on the bus. She seemed to just want to talk. Most people were ignoring her. She looked like she needed a bath and didn't seem to be the brightest bulb on the tree. The other passengers were doing an impressive job of pretending not to hear her rambling on.

Then the skanky girl zeroed in on the studious girl. "What's your name?" The girl grudgingly looked away from her book to speak to the skank. "Sarah." She said with polite patience. "Sarah with a 'C' ?" Skank asked. Her bulb dimmed even more. The girl kind of laughed and said "No, with an 'S'." Seeming to actually realize how stupid she looked, Skank tried to turn it around on the smart girl. "What are you reading? That's just a SKINNY book!" As if to imply that the girl was reading a "See John Run" type of first grader book.

The girl showed the skank her book. It was too deep for her, so she fought back. "I just read 'The Vinci Code'." Obviously, she never got past the title. The word "Da" must have been too big for her to remember. Sarah, with an "s", was classy and polite and didn't bother to start something by correcting the Skank.

Eventually, Skank got off the bus and the others on the bus couldn't wait to chime in. One said something like "I think she's a hooker." Someone else came back with the best line of all... "You mean a hooker...with an 'H'? "

Some people are just fun!

HERE I AM !!

2011-09-10T18:58:00.002-05:00

Sorry if you thought I'd forgotten you!! I'm just having a hard time putting together my book. Every blog I post is one less for the book. I decided I've neglected you all far too long, so I'm gonna post a couple blogs for you. The book will get there eventually!! I'm doing laundry and other stuff in between...but they're on the way! Today....soon! I promise!

Thanks for your patience!

POP ME UP A TRANSFER - PART 2

2011-05-15T20:08:00.002-05:00

Mr. "pop me up a transfer" got on my bus a week later. Same 12B...bus goes to the same place it did before. He was annoying other customers for a while. One guy even got up and moved to the peanut seat (next to the front door). He looked at me as if to say "what's up with that guy?". I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

The jerk proceeded to move to the seat next to the peanut seat guy. Then he asked me "So, ya gonna pop me up a transfer?" I said "No, sir. I'm not." He said "I think we've been through this before." I replied "Yes, we have. So you already know this is a 12B and I don't go to the apartments." He kept being annoying and I was doing my best to just ignore him. I was tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. Then he got sarcastic. "Ooooooo, stressful. What a stressful job you have. Just sooooo stressful!" I said "No, not at all. 99 out of 100 people on this bus are great! The other 1....well, I know what kind of person I'm dealing with. I choose not to let their issues become mine. Life is good." He didn't seem to like that so he switched seats.

I couldn't help but notice, as he was exiting my bus later and mumbling something at me...he got off on 9th! That's where all the bars are! Coincidence? I think not. It explains everything. He was angry because I wouldn't give him a transfer so he'd have another 2 and a half hours to get his drink on. Alcoholics get angry when you mess with their drinking!

I couldn't wait. The first chance I got, I told my manager about this latest situation. I was GLAD I didn't give him a transfer the first time! He was just playing me for extra time. He knew all along that the 12B didn't go to the apartments. What a jerk!

POP ME UP A TRANSFER!

2011-05-15T19:43:00.003-05:00

I had just gotten to downtown Hopkins on the 12B. That's where it ends. I parked the bus and noticed there was a guy that didn't seem to know we were at the end of the line. I got up to do my lost and found/security check and asked him "Did you miss your stop?" He instantly got rude and aggressive. He said "You're supposed to go down by Smetana, down by the apartments!" I kept my composure and informed him I was the 12B. This bus didn't go there. He yelled at me, saying I didn't know what I was doing and I must be new here. I tried to explain to him that this was the 12B and it shows on the maps, that are in the free schedules, that this is where it goes. He remained aggressive said "don't be a smart aleck!" and demanded "Pop me up a transfer!"

I was done. I got serious and stern and said "First of all, sir, I don't appreciate how your talking to me. I've done nothing wrong. You paid your fare and I gave you a ride to where my sign says I go. If I had had the wrong sign on or taken a wrong turn or done something wrong and you ended up in the wrong place, yes, I would give you a transfer. I don't owe you anything and the way you are treating me...no, I am not giving you anything."

He stormed off the bus. After only a few steps, he turned around and came back. As he stomped up the steps he demanded "Take me back down to 11th!" I just sat there and flipped through the newspaper as though I didn't hear him. What a jerk. I still had about 5 minutes on my layover so I couldn't bring him down there if I wanted to, which I didn't. I was secretly wishing I went back a whole different way.

It kind of bothered me later. Normally, if someone had gotten on my bus and later realized it was the wrong one and their transfer was running out, I would have given them a transfer so they could get where they were going. This guy was just so rude and aggressive with me, I didn't really care if he ever got where he was going. They say to "be the bigger person" and I usually am pretty good at doing that. This time was just different. He was treating me like dirt. I even told this story to my manager, admitting I had a pretty bad customer service moment. Little did I know then, this guy would get on again, on my 12B, and try it again! See next blog....

THE MORNING LOOK

2011-05-15T19:32:00.002-05:00

I was recently driving the route 9 down Glenwood avenue. I was in the area where the projects used to be before they finally bulldozed them. There was a "lady" walking down the street. I think she was a leftover from the projects. She was wearing pajama pants, a dingy white t-shirt with no bra. Her girls were swinging left to right with every step she took. She had on...you guessed it..fuzzy slippers. Her hair was all matted and there were stray chunks sticking straight out. She looked like she just got out of bed, yet she was out walking on a city street.

Then it dawned on me...she's looking for a man! What better look to have than your morning look?!!? That way, when he wakes up next to her, he already knows the terror he will be seeing. It's not a shock. What a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? I spend all that time getting ready to go out into the public when I could just jump out of bed and go.

I think we should all start a new trend. Come as you are. Embrace your morning look!

MISMATCHED

2011-02-20T14:56:00.002-06:00

Some things just don't go together, like the Gangsta in Fuzzy Slippers that I wrote about. Tough guys just don't look right wearing fuzzy slippers. It takes the tough away.

Well, I think I had his brother on my bus the other day. I did my best not to laugh in front of him. This tall, teenage kid got on wearing head-to-toe cliche gear ...cap to the side, dollar signs on his shirt in rhinestones playing like they were diamonds (yeah, right) , baggy pants hanging off his butt with his boxers showing and tennis shoes with fat, unlaced shoestrings. He was a walking cliche choosing to live the stereotype....until I saw him in the mirror doing his best pimp walk down the bus aisle. On his back was a way- too-small black and pink "Hello Kitty" backpack!!! It looked like he took it from a kindergarten schoolgirl!!

That was just too damn funny!!

RETURN OF THE BACKDOOR GUY

2011-02-20T14:31:00.002-06:00

One of my other favorite loose screws got on my bus recently. Remember the Backdoor guy? (Search prior blogs) Well, I was driving the 17 route and he got on around 25Th and Hennepin. I hadn't seen him in a while, yet still got that "oh shit" feeling I get whenever I see him at my bus stop. I wondered if he had a new game to play.

He got on, paid his fare and went and sat down. I was in shock. This has NEVER happened with this guy. At the very least, he hovers around the farebox and has annoying questions or conversation with me as I try and get him to get behind the standee line. I just kept driving and waited for a new game from him...and it came.

I was stopped at a red light. I sensed his presence before he was even near me. He had that goofy grin on his face and was carrying a very large wad of trash as he approached the front of the bus. I don't know where he got the trash from. Did he bring it with him?? It wouldn't surprise me.

As he got closer he said, "I know this is a strange request, but there is a garbage can right out there. Do you mind if I jump off and throw this out?" I was pulled into the bus stop so I just opened the door and told him "No problem, but when the light turns green, I have to go." He jumped off, threw out the trash and got back on the bus before the light even changed. I thought "Hmmm, that wasn't so bad."

I continued to drive and within a couple minutes he came up with a small piece of paper and his silly grin and said "I have some more trash." I just gave him the "Don't mess with me...we are not doing this every block" look (yes, I say a lot with just my eyes ; ) ) and pointed to the trash bag that hangs on the farebox. I told him he could throw it in there, which he did. I drove on and wondered what was next. Nothing. That was it.

All-in-all, I didn't mind his new game. It didn't interfere with my schedule and it didn't involve fare evasion. What more could I ask for?

THE AIRPLANE GUY

2011-02-20T13:51:00.002-06:00

I've had this guy get on my bus lately who I haven't seen in a while. I call him the Airplane Guy...let me tell you why.

This guy has some bizarre obsession with airplanes. The first time I saw him was a few years back. I was in a bus stop letting people off the bus. Others began to board and I notice this goof. He's a tall, thin white guy. He had his arms spread like a little kid imitating an airplane. When it was his turn to board, he was standing there with his arms spread wide, tipping from side to side. Standing on his tip-toes, he took a lot of short, fast steps backward. His eyes focused on the steps of the bus and he said "I'm coming in for a landing!" He ran on his tip-toes with little baby steps toward the stairs of the bus and tipped his arms nearly vertical to make it in the door as he jumped onto the bottom step. Then, as I've come to find over the years is normal for him, he sat down mumbling about airports and airplanes as he took a few minutes to find his fare.

Last summer, he was often on Nicollet Mall dragging one of those wire carts around. It was missing a wheel and he didn't seem to notice or mind. I marveled at how he just dragged the cart full of his stuff as I waited for sparks to fly from the corner of the cart as it dragged against the sidewalk.

One day, I was very busy. It was rush hour on Nicollet Mall (in the heart of downtown Minneapolis). I pulled up to the bus stop and was secretly annoyed as everyone seemed to want to exit using the front door. Didn't they see the mob of people waiting to board the bus?? Finally, the people were almost loaded onto the bus and I saw the Airplane Guy. Geez, I don't have time for this today. He was doing his tippy-toe, arms spread, preparing to land routine. I told him he needed to get on the bus. He flew around like the runway was busy and he was waiting for his turn to land. I looked into the mirror and saw a whole line of buses behind me. I gave him one more chance, warning him that we had to go. He didn't seem too eager to land so I shut the door and left. The look on his face as I drove away was priceless. Like I shut down the entire airport before he had a chance to land his plane.

I had been wondering what happened to this guy. Hadn't seen him in a while. Then, just recently, I saw him in line waiting to board my bus at Uptown Station. He didn't do the whole arm thing, just the fast, tiny baby steps as he jumped onto the bottom step. He mumbled something about the "airplane companies" as he got on. He continued to mumble about airplanes and airports as he took forever to pay his fare...but he does always pay.

You know, I've sometimes had a song stuck in my head for a few hours. I just can't imagine being stuck twenty four hours, seven days a week with one topic in my mind! Maybe next time this guy gets on my bus, if I'm not too busy, I'll see if I can actually have a conversation with him...about something other than airplanes!

NO NEED TO B.Y.O.S.

2010-12-26T15:49:00.002-06:00

I was driving around on the 9 route. Nice route. Very few issues. Good people. Bathrooms at both ends of the route (woo hoo!). My buddy from the 23 route was in the peanut seat. He's the guy that told Governor Pawlenty that he made a doctors appointment for him...with a proctologist so he could get his head out of his ass. Gotta love this guy.

I pulled up to a stop. Waiting to board was an older guy carrying 2 folding chairs. I recognized him as a regular rider, a pleasant man. I couldn't help myself. As he came up the steps I said "We provide those here. You don't have to bring your own seat." Appreciating the humor, he laughed as he paid his fare. Then I looked over to the peanut seat. My buddy was laughing so hard I thought I'd have to give him CPR!

People are fun.

MY WORKERS COMP CLAIM

2010-12-26T15:21:00.003-06:00

I went in to see my boss the other day. I was rotating and rubbing my shoulder. I told him I thought I needed to fill out some Workers Compensation paperwork. He looked at me, seeming just a tad annoyed, and asked me what happened.

I told him there was this little old lady on my bus. She was the cause of it. With the cusser in the last blog and with someone asking me to call an ambulance, I had had an eventful trip.

Quick side trip to the ambulance story - I was loading people and this young girl came up and asked me to call an ambulance. Seeing nothing obviously wrong on my bus, I asked her what the problem was. She pointed to a woman on the sidewalk across the intersection that was laying on her back. The girl told me the older woman had just fallen down. I immediately made a priority call to the Control Center. I pulled up next to the woman, who was surrounded by an older man and a few scared looking little kids. I opened the door and asked if anyone had called to get them help. The old guy said "no". I told them I had help on the way and they thanked me as I left.

Back to my workers comp claim - After all this, the cusser and the fallen woman, the bell rang and an elderly lady came up front to get off the bus. There had been a lot of snow and I was having a hard time finding a safe, shoveled place to let her off. There was none. I was in a residential neighborhood with no other cars around so I decided it would be best to let her off in the plowed street. I found a spot with some fresh sand. I told her, "This looks like a good spot. There is sand there so you won't fall." I lowered the bus (it was one of the new hybrids that "kneel") and as she got off she said "You're a great driver!" Then she got off the bus and turned around. She had a big smile on her face as she threw her arms up in the air and said " You're a WONDERFUL driver!" I said "Well, thank you! You have a great day." I closed the door and continued on my trip.

As I drove I thought, "That lady said that right into the camera that points out the front door. My boss should have a copy of that to play over and over, especially if I were to ever get into trouble at some time." I decided on the next best thing.

I explained the story of the little old lady to my boss. I told him how "great" and "wonderful" she thought I was. As I rubbed my shoulder and winced in fake pain, I told him I hurt my shoulder when I was patting myself on the back. He got a good laugh out of it. In fact, he told other managers about it. I had another manager come to me with fake sympathy and ask how my shoulder was doing. I rubbed it and told her it seemed to be getting better. A few days later, my manager smiled and asked how my shoulder was. I rotated both of them and told him they were BOTH a little sore lately. I even asked if he got the memo that he was supposed to send people to my house to shovel so my shoulders could heal. He claimed he got the memo and the people had been sent. If only that were true!!

We have a good time.

I'M THE "CRADLE OF CREATION"....???

2010-12-26T14:56:00.002-06:00

I had this guy on my rather packed bus cussing on his cell phone, loudly, in the back area of the bus. I got on the microphone and said my usual "We don't mind cell phones on the bus, but profanity WILL NOT be tolerated." He replied "Man, I'm 42 years old!" and went back to talking on the phone. Thankfully, he had cut out the cussing.

The bell rang later and I heard him telling the person on his phone he was going to have a chat with the bus driver about our earlier exchange. He was a big guy. He didn't look too happy. I watched him coming all the way to the front of the bus. I thought this could get ugly. He came up to me and said he didn't like the way I spoke to him. I told him I was just letting him know that cussing on the bus wasn't allowed. He apologized, said he was a man and again stated that he just didn't like the way I said it. I told him I apologized if I had offended him, but there is a time and place for everything and the bus is just not the place for that language.

He agreed. He told me he had some problems he was dealing with. Someone owed him a couple hundred dollars. He, again, stated he was a grown man...he was 42 years old. I told him that just makes it worse. We, being the grown-ups, should be setting an example. He agreed again. He told me he didn't mean to offend me because I was "the cradle of creation" and he had nothing but respect for me.

Hmmm...still not sure what he meant. Did it have to do with me being female? I don't know. Just thought it was an interesting phrase. I told him I didn't mean to offend him either. I thanked him for coming and apologizing. I told him that it is very rare for people to not only see they are wrong but to take responsibility for it. I told him how much I appreciated it.

Guess who got on when I was coming back the other way. Yep. The cusser. As he got on, I told him he had no idea how much I appreciated his apology and thanked him for it. I noticed he had gotten on with a buddy. I didn't want to even almost hear what type of language they were using all the way downtown so I used a bus driver trick. I turned the defroster and other 3 fans in front on high. I enjoyed the drive into downtown. Couldn't hear a thing!

PLANTER POLICE

2010-12-26T14:47:00.002-06:00

I'm wondering if there are any Planter Police on Nicollet Mall. Some of those planters are driving me crazy!! I like the fall/winter design of the ones that have the birch tree stubs and the pine around the bottom of them and the red twigs standing up around the birch.

The other ones, that look so unnatural, I want to come fix in the middle of the night. Maybe when no one is around, I can. I'm talking about the ones that have the red twigs tied together at the top. Who's lame idea was that??!!?? They look so stupid. Nothing in nature looks like that.

Do you think I could sneak up to the planters and free the twigs? Just untie the tops and let them stand free, like in the other planters? I want to make it my mission...unfortunately, I don't want to go to jail. They are going to have to stay confined and ugly until the spring. Poor twigs.

FUNNY MARRIED GUY

2010-11-28T17:35:00.003-06:00

I had a really fun guy on my bus recently. We were joking around about how women are always right. How can you tell when a guy has been married a long time? He says "yes, dear" quite often.

He told me he had been married quite a long time. He said he had nothing to worry about because HE was always right. I told him that wasn't going to work. He clarified. He said he's always right because he just agrees with his wife! Then he laughed and topped it off with "she's my better 7/8ths!"

With that attitude he'll be married for life! He was awful young to be so wise!

DON'T KISS THE DRIVER !

2010-11-28T17:00:00.002-06:00

I had been off for a week vacation. My first day back, I was quite refreshed and in a great mood. I was driving the 18 route, way not my favorite, but I was having fun with the passengers.

One large guy got on wearing a Patriots shirt. I told him that this was a Vikings bus and he'd have to pay waaaaaay extra to ride with that shirt on. He laughed and thought I was amusing. He decided to stand right up front and chat.

Soon, a guy got on wearing a Vikings cap. I said, "Now, THAT is a hat! This guy should get to ride FREE!!" The Vikes fan didn't quite know what he had stepped into, but was also quite amused and laughed as he paid his fare. I continued talking to the Patriot fan "In fact, you should follow him around all day and pay his way wherever he goes!" The Vikes fan laughed and agreed. The three of us had fun chatter all the way into downtown. It was a great ride.

I made the stops through downtown and wished everyone a great day. Suddenly, things became quite uncomfortable. The Patriots fan was the last one on the bus. Things seemed strangely quiet. I tried to break the tension with some awkward comment about him going all the way to the end of the route and how, for some reason, I'm always the last one off the bus.

Out of nowhere, he took a couple steps over and kissed me on the cheek. I was instantly pissed! How dare he!! The fun was over. I, very sternly, told him there was a zone of "personal space" that he had violated and that that was not acceptable. He kind of laughed it off and said "sorry". That pissed me off even more! He was obviously so NOT sorry. I was fuming, but tried my best to remain calm and in control. I told him he should be sorry because what he had just done was a sexual assault and there were numerous cameras on the bus. Suddenly, he got it. He put his hands up, palms facing me and said "I'm REALLY sorry. It won't happen again. Really. I am so sorry!"

I was satisfied that he saw the mistake he made. I don't think he meant any harm. I think he was some bored, lonely guy that got carried away. In his eyes, I could almost see his thoughts...panic, jail cell, " sex offender" tattooed on his forehead. I told him he learned a valuable lesson and to remember...personal space.

When we got to the layover spot a few blocks later, I acted like nothing had happened and told him "Have a nice day" as I opened the door. I was hoping that was enough hint for him to get off the bus. I was still a little worried about what was in this guys' head, but I just acted like all was well. I stayed near the silent alarm.

Luckily, he got off the bus. The rush of relief I felt as I closed the door behind him was unreal. He was a pretty big guy and things could have gone very bad very quickly.

Lesson of the day: Don't kiss the bus driver!!

EASY TO SPOT

2010-11-28T16:54:00.002-06:00

Occasionally, the Control Center will send us a text. Sometimes it's for a missing child or vulnerable adult. Sometimes it's for someone the police are looking for. Sometimes it's to find someone to fill work. Recently, I got an interesting one. The mental picture it provoked was hilarious.

This particular day the police were looking for:

A white male in his thirties last seen in northeast Minneapolis wearing only a t-shirt and socks.

I'm guessing he'd be pretty easy to spot!

NOT PICKING THIS GUY UP!

2010-09-14T21:28:00.002-05:00

I pulled up to a bus stop today that I really didn't want to stop at. As I was approaching it, I noticed one guy waiting normally at the stop and another guy rolling around on the ground...literally. I pulled right up to the normal guy. As soon as he got on, I closed the door. The other guy wobbled to his feet and came over to the door. When he saw I wasn't going to open it, he punched the door. Then he started flipping me off and wobbling around.

I wasn't sure if he was drunk, crazy or both. For the safety of myself and my passengers, I wasn't about to let him on and find out the hard way.

I called the Control Center to let them know I passed someone and the reason I did it. I gave them his description and they sent someone to check on him. I didn't see him the rest of the day.

It seemed the passengers appreciated my avoiding the potential problem. I'm sure, if they ride regularly, they've seen what can happen with unstable or drunk people boarding. I'd rather not risk it and ensure a safe, quiet ride for everyone.

Hopefully, they found the guy and got him whatever help he needed.

Never a dull moment!

CUSTOMER COMPLAINT

2010-09-14T21:17:00.002-05:00

Can't believe I got a customer complaint! It came from the lady in the wheelchair in the recent blog.

I told my manager to watch the video. I was so patient, because I knew she had issues, that I told him they could probably use the video for training on how to deal with difficult passengers. He said he wasn't going to file the complaint. Part of her issue was WHERE I broke down. Like I chose the spots my bus quit. She was also upset that I didn't let her off first...when I would have had to deploy the lift in the traffic lane!

Like I said, she had some problems so I can't be mad at her for being upset. I know she didn't realize I did what was best for her, and the rest of my passengers, safety.

I'm just glad my manager listened to my side of the story and saw that it was not a founded complaint. We really have some great managers. Some drivers would disagree. I find that usually those drivers are the troublemakers or just generally negative people. I love my job and truly appreciate when managers take the time to listen to the drivers side of the story and take it into consideration when a complaint crosses their desk.

CONGRATS TO MATT !!!!!

2010-09-14T21:08:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to Matt! He said he's been reading my blog for about 2 years. He is the lucky person that found me and won my contest. He and his adorable 2 year old daughter found me on the 2 route today. He said the winning phrase and walked away with all the prizes.

Thanks to all that played. Stay tuned...I'm sure I'll have a contest again.

Thanks also to Matt's daughter for helping me check my bus at the layover for lost and found. She was such a cutie pie. Too bad I gave away the two stuffed animals I brought today before she got on my bus. She was so well-behaved it made me think the "terrible two's" was all a myth.

Now that the contest is over, we can get back to more fun...and not so fun...stories.

HE'S BAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAACK!

2010-09-13T21:00:00.002-05:00

There he was at the bus stop. Even though I wanted to just drive by, I pulled over and opened the door. I got shivers and the hair stood up on the back of my neck...just like a pissed off cat.

It was the "Back Door Guy" ! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Okay, I had to pick him up so I decided to see what his game was for the day.

As soon as he saw it was me, he stood with one foot on the step and looked back for another bus to magically be coming along... on my schedule. There wasn't one. He started muttering things about how he wasn't sure if he wanted the bus right now or not, how he had attention deficit disorder and just generally whatever crossed his mind. I calmly told him that I didn't have time to wait. He needed to get on or get off. He chose to get on...damn!

The game began. It was the old pile-of-expired-transfers game. He put the first few in and they came up expired...what a surprise, NOT! I looked at him like "do we have to play this again?" but I didn't say a word. He read my face, stopped the useless transfer game and put the whole pile back in his pocket. He said he needed fresh air and would go sit down and find his fare. I didn't say anything. He went toward the back of the bus and sat down. He opened a window and breathed heavily in and out with his face out the window.

I just kept driving and gave him a "look" in the mirror. A couple blocks later when I stopped, he went out the back door.

Gee, can't wait to see him again. Maybe he'll even pay a fare! Well, at least he hasn't been insisting on coming in the back door lately. That is SO annoying!

HIGH ANXIETY

2010-09-13T19:51:00.004-05:00

I had a ball driving the bus for a week to the Minnesota State Fair. People were happy, having fun and behaved on the bus...except for one.

I was driving back toward downtown with a load of people coming from the fair. One lady was in a wheelchair and had an attendant with her. The lady in the wheelchair seemed to be quite negative about everything from the time she got on the bus. I remained my cheery self.

I had just come across the Washington avenue bridge. The speed limit is 45 and slows to 40 before dropping to 30 when you enter downtown near the Metrodome. I was slowing to 40 and my bus quit. Lovely. I was just rounding a corner. Not a good spot to be in, around a corner with traffic coming up behind you at 40 miles an hour. I immediately turned on my flashers and pulled to the side the best I could before the bus coasted to a stop.

The lady in the wheelchair went nuts, yelling "What are we gonna do? Oh No! This is why I never go out...." I tried to calm her while informing my other passengers of the situation at the same time. I told her to relax, the bus had just stalled. I said I was going to turn it off and wait a minute and see if it would start. She continued to fuss. I got the bus going and continued on. I had called the Control Center right away, but by the time they got back to me I was already rolling. I informed them of what happened and that I was continuing my route.

I got onto 3rd street in the middle of downtown and as I approached 3rd avenue the bus quit again. The lady in the wheelchair still hadn't totally recovered from the first breakdown (hers or the bus) and she got even louder. "I have to catch another bus! I have to get to 7th and Nicollet right now! What am I going to do? I should never have come out!" Again, I called Control. I had pulled all the way over to the left curb (it's a one way street) since I was in the far left lane when the bus quit. I put on the flashers and waited for Control to call me back. I tried to calm the lady, seeing she had obvious anxiety and maybe other mental issues. I could see she was highly stressed. In my calmest voice, I told her to relax. Everyone was safe, no one was hurt, it was rush hour and all the buses were running, everyone would get home. It seemed to work for a minute.

The Control center called me back and as I spoke with them, the lady started yelling and freaking out again. Just then, I noticed a big guy in a nice pressed suit standing next to my window. I noticed he had a U.S Marshall badge on. I opened my window and he said "There's no stopping here. What seems to be the problem?" He could hear the woman freaking out. I told him my bus broke down and I had a highly anxious passenger. I was talking to the Control Center to get a new bus and would be gone as soon as I could. He kept looking back at the lady freaking out. Realizing I was dealing with a messed up situation, he dropped all his professionalism and smiled and said "Good luck with that!" and walked away. That made me laugh. His quick change from serious, professional U.S Marshall to looking at me like "glad it's you and not me" and smiling as he made his comment was pretty funny. It's good to see that security hasn't been let down since the attacks on September 11, 2001. I'm sure I was next to a government building and that's why it is marked "No Stopping" all along the curb. Security.

Anyway, Control asked me to go to the back of the bus and open it and see if there was any obvious fluid leaking. I did. As I was coming back, I noticed all of the people were filing off the bus. I had my bright yellow vest on so I stood next to the door hoping cars would see me and move over and not hit my exiting passengers.

I got back on the bus and the lady totally flipped. "You let them all off before me! Mobility is supposed to be first!" I explained that they got off on their own. I didn't bother to correct her about the mobility policy...first on the bus, last off. I didn't think that would be helpful at that time. Instead, I tried to explain to her that I couldn't deploy the lift into a traffic lane. I told her I didn't want her to get hurt. She said "You like them more than you like me!" That was it. How illogical...though not entirely untrue, at this point! I had to get her off the bus before she worked herself into a heart attack.

I got the bus started and pulled straight across the street and up to the curb. What a relief! Now I could get her off the bus! She'd be happy and on her way and all would be well again! Well, not quite. I put out the lift and as she got off she flipped again. "This isn't 7th and Nicollet! I need to be at 7th and Nicollet!" The attendant calmly asked how far it was and I told her if she walked 3 blocks straight ahead, she could catch any bus up the 4 blocks to 7th street. She decided to just walk it.

FINALLY, they were on their way. My new bus came and I finished my day.

All in a days work! The U.S. Marshall made my day!

CAN YOU FIND ME NOW?

2010-09-13T19:34:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow (tuesday) I will, once again, be on the route with crackheads on one side and college students on the other. I start just before noon and get done just before 8 PM.

I hope someone finds me and says the winning phrase. I hope it's someone who will wear the Favre jersey with pride...or give it to someone who will! I still have the other prizes for the winner, too.

I am on what is called the extra board this week, so my work changes day to day.

Find me tomorrow!

Good luck!

CLUES FOR THURSDAY

2010-09-08T18:10:00.002-05:00

Sorry, didn't give you clues for today. Oops!

Tomorrow I'll be working about an hour before morning rush until a few minutes after the start of evening rush...long day! I'll be driving mostly from downtown to St Louis Park/Hopkins. I do make one early trip back past downtown to northeast Minneapolis.

Don't forget...I added a brand new Favre jersey to the prize package! Just find me and give the winning phrase and all the prizes are yours! If you are new here, just read back some blogs to find the winning phrase.

Good luck!

FREE - BRETT FAVRE JERSEY

2010-09-02T12:14:00.002-05:00

You guys just aren't trying hard enough!

I decided to add a little incentive to the contest. Along with the prizes listed in prior blogs, I am adding a brand new Brett Favre Vikings Jersey!!

Of course, it is a lovely purple number 4 jersey...not that ugly green rag he used to wear. ( Hehehehehe, sorry Packer fans. Actually, no...I'm not! He looks MUCH better in purple!) It is a size large.

Don't just hop on the bus and ask for the jersey! Same rules apply...you must say the winning phrase! See prior blogs regarding the contest if you are just joining us.

I'm still driving people to and from the fair today and tomorrow. Then I am off until September 8th...so find me now!

Good luck!

POOR GIRL

2010-08-31T01:30:00.002-05:00

I was just finishing my first day driving the State Fair work. It was a pretty mellow, uneventful day. I didn't even get a Sweet Martha cookie! Last year I got a ton of them. People wanted me to take them so they could close their overflowing buckets.

I was bringing my last load of fair goers into downtown. All was pretty quiet. As I got to the light rail stop on 5Th street, a young girl came running up to my bus. She was in a pink dress and was barefoot and crying. I opened the door and she yelled "Call the police! Those people over there just robbed me! They took my cell phone battery and my money and I have asthma and I had to fight them and get away! Call the police, please! Where's my inhaler?" She started frantically looking in her bag.

I immediately made a priority call to the Control Center. The losers that attacked her were hanging out in the bus shelter. There were too many to get descriptions of. People on the bus didn't realize I was waiting for the Control Center to call me to give them the info so it appeared to them I was doing nothing. Someone said "Don't you have a cell phone? You need to call the police!" I explained that we aren't allowed to carry them or have them turned on and I was waiting for a call to give them the info. Some lady on the bus got on her cell phone and called police. By then, Control called me and I gave them the info.

In the meantime, the girl saw a security guard standing on the corner and wanted me to let her off so she could go ask him for help. I let her off, knowing there were at least two calls in and the police would be there soon. There were about 4-5 guys and 3-4 girls involved in robbing this poor girl. The security guard would probably get his butt whooped down there by himself.

I hope they caught those losers. What a bunch of punks...ganging up on this skinny little young (she was probably 20-ish) girl.

Tomorrow is another day!

STATE FAIR TIME!

2010-08-31T01:26:00.002-05:00

For those of you looking to win the contest, I'm driving for the State Fair. I know there are a lot of routes going there, but we all end up in the same place. That should make it pretty easy!

I'm out there from about the start of PM rush hour 'til almost midnight. Long day. Lots of opportunity to find me!

Good Luck!

THIS SHOULD MAKE IT EASY

2010-08-24T10:26:00.002-05:00

Hate to give TOO easy of a clue, but try this.

I'm working now 'til Friday on the same route the first contest winner found me on. I'll be out there from 12:30-ish PM to 8:30-ish PM.

The driver who normally does this work is a very pleasant Native American guy who always seems to be smiling. I'm just hoping he doesn't come back before Friday and bump me off the work! If he does, I'll let you know.

Good luck!

CONTEST CLUES

2010-08-18T10:38:00.002-05:00

Today and tomorrow I will be working 12:30-ish PM to 7:30-ish PM. I'll be driving past Mary Tyler Moore and lots of green RideMinnesota bike racks. Really not looking forward to tomorrow. Have to dodge people so excited to be buying fruits and veggies from street vendors that they apparently go deaf and blind. They step out in front of buses like we have no blind spots and are focused just on them, not the rest of the swarm of people. Please, don't be one of "them"!

Hope someone can find me and say the winning phrase! I shouldn't be to hard to find in the next couple days.

Good luck!

WORKING ON A SUNDAY!

2010-08-15T09:27:00.002-05:00

This is just wrong!! I have to work on a Sunday!! If that's not bad enough...I have to do a yucky route!

For those of you that may want to find me today and win all the prizes...I did two consecutive blogs about how much I hate this particular route. I'll be out there from 11-ish AM to 7-ish PM. Also, it's the only route I've ever pepper sprayed anyone on...he spit on me first. He had it coming.

Gotta look at the bright side...this route is usually good for blog material!

Hope to see you out there. Don't forget the winning phrase!

BUS DRIVERS CAN BE NICE

2010-08-09T11:47:00.002-05:00

Regardless of what you may have read in City Pages, most drivers are not mean.

Recently, I was driving past a bus shelter. There was a young girl sitting in the corner of the shelter, which was blocked from my view by newspaper stands. I didn't see her until I had gotten nearly past the bus stop. Seeing there were no cars close behind me, I drove through the intersection as I put on my hazard lights and slowed to a stop. The young girl ran over and boarded my bus. She was about to put her stored value card in to pay the fare. Instead, I apologized for not seeing her and popped up a transfer and gave it to her, giving her a free ride. She thanked me and went and sat down.

I figured it was a better way to handle the situation than to just have her get on and go through her day mad at bus drivers for something that was no fault of either of ours.

I spoke with another driver who had a much more serious situation. He had a very pregnant lady go into labor on his bus. Being blocks from a hospital, he made a quick detour to get the woman safely to a hospital.

Bus drivers can be, and are, good people!

I LOVE KIDS

2010-08-09T11:18:00.002-05:00

Recently, I was driving a few guys around that knew each other. They were older guys. One was a Vietnam veteran who wore a camouflage hat and kind of dirty, tattered clothes.

The guys were sitting with another guy that rides buses quite a bit, sometimes just to chat with the driver. They were all sitting in the very front of the bus. The veteran was sitting right behind me, so I couldn't really see him.

They were joking with each other. One offered to take another guy fishing, then said he had some cinder blocks and just wanted to use him for bait. They laughed and kidded back and forth.

Meanwhile, there seemed to be an unusual number of babies and small kids getting on the bus. I always say "hi" to them. Usually, I try to find something to compliment them on....what a pretty pink outfit...love your spiderman shoes...whatever.

The veteran behind me heard me chatting with the kids and suddenly said "I love kids..." My mental picture of this guy just seemed to conflict with his comment. Then it became clear. He finished his thought and said"...they taste like chicken!"

I had to laugh.

CLUES FOR THIS WEEK

2010-08-09T11:04:00.002-05:00

I have a totally different schedule this week. I'll be going to bed about the same time as I've been getting up lately!

I'll be working 10-ish hour shifts today thru thursday. I start just before afternoon rush hour and get done 1-ish AM. Woo hoo...gotta love those hours! (NOT!)

Hmmmm...a clue on the route I'm gonna be on. Hmmm...got it! The route number I am on used to be the number for what is now the south side of the route 11. The 11 is a route that was basically two prior routes that were put together and renumbered to become the 11. One side of it was the 18C that went northeast to 41st and central. You need to figure out/remember what other route was put together with it to make it the 11 and you will know what number route I am on this week.

Can you find me now?

Good luck!

I THINK SOMEONE IS GONNA FIND ME

2010-08-02T04:31:00.002-05:00

I think someone will find me this week. I'm gonna be on a route I was nearly found on before. I was on a route that went thru the same transfer point. This week I'll be on the route he thought I was on.

Today (monday) is a really short day. I start 530-ish AM and am done 9-ish AM. The rest of the week I'll be on this route from 5-ish AM to 2-ish PM.

Gotta go pick up strangers!

Good luck!

NO WINNER YET.

2010-07-29T21:23:00.002-05:00

Can't believe no one found me within the past 3 days! I was on the route with crackheads at one end and college students on the other...the 2 route!

Tomorrow I'm working from 10:30-ish AM til 630-ish PM. I'm on one of my least favorite routes. It has a layover downtown and goes waaaaaaay south, primarily on one street. It's got the mean lady that gets mad when I lower the bus for her to make it easier to get on.

Can't wait to see who finds me first and wins the prizes. Good luck to all!

CAN YOU FIND ME NOW?

2010-07-27T00:15:00.002-05:00

Tuesday thru thursday I will be on the route I described before as having crackheads on one side of the route and college students on the other. I'll be out there from noonish to 8ish-pm.

Had to laugh. The guy that almost found me last week was soooooooo close! He tried the 12 route at Uptown Station and I was on the 23, which lays over there! The driver was a lady from my garage and told me about it. She knew about my contest and thought it was kind of fun to have the guy give her the winning phrase. I was just glad to know someone is actually participating in my contest! I have to carry the bag of prizes around every day until someone finds me. To the guy that almost won, thanks for your effort. Maybe you'll find me with the new clue.

To anyone playing along, don't forget to say the winning phrase! If it's me, you walk away with the prizes!

Good luck!

CLUES

2010-07-19T09:47:00.002-05:00

Still hiding in plain sight! I only work Monday thru Wednesday this week. I'll be doing a route that has a layover where it meets up with both routes I've done in the last two weeks...I've told you one of those routes already. This is a major transfer point.

I"ll be out there noon-ish to nine-ish p.m.. Remember....only three days to find me this week. Don't forget the winning phrase!

GOOD LUCK!

HINT FOR THIS WEEK

2010-07-13T16:36:00.002-05:00

I have about the same schedule as last week...just before morning rush to just before afternoon rush. The route I am on actually crosses paths with the route I did last week. They meet at a major transfer point.

Don't forget to say the winning phrase if you find me..."Are you Picking Up Strangers?" and go home with all the prizes!

Good luck!

A DAY IN THE LIFE...

2010-07-13T16:16:00.002-05:00

The old guy with the invisible token scam was out all day one day when I was on Lake Street last week. I must have seen him wandering Lake Street at least half a dozen times.

Early in the morning, about 6 AM, I saw him in a little huddle of people at Chicago-Lake Transit Center. There were a couple guys that pass out religious literature in the huddle. I figured they were praying, asking God to show them the way. It kind of touched my heart. Maybe there was some good in this scamming guy after all.

Later the same day, I saw the old guy walking down the street toward me. He had a couple friends walking with him. He was holding the bottom of his shirt in the front as he walked. It looked strange. Something was suspicious. He looked like a little kid hoping not to get caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Curious, and running a little early, I purposely missed the stoplight to watch and see what he was up to.

He and his friends turned the corner. No more than 5 steps later, invisible token guy pulled what looked like a t-shirt out from under the front of the shirt he was wearing and waved it around. They were all laughing. Then I noticed a couple guys dressed like referees coming from Foot Locker in hot pursuit. I was glad I missed the light. This was better than T.V.. The thieves around the corner had no idea they were about to be busted.

The ref caught up to them and words were exchanged. The thief handed the ref the stolen shirt. Then the ref motioned spun his hand in circles at the wrist as if to say "come on, come on". The thief looked defeated. He pulled another shirt out from under his shirt and handed it to the ref.

The light changed and I had to go. My mind, however, stayed with the scenario I had just witnessed. All I could think of was how I would hate to buy one of those shirts he had tucked up his shirt next to his filthy body. Ewww. The guy had the same clothes on all week. He was sweaty and gross.

Then I came to another realization....seems the prayer session didn't take!

SCAM SOMEONE ELSE...AGAIN!

2010-07-13T16:06:00.003-05:00

The same old guy from a few blogs back got on my Lake Street bus last week. He tried the same thing, only this time with a bunch of pennies. He put in a couple dozen pennies and, as I sat there pretending to wait for the rest of the fare, he said "there's a token in there." I knew damn well there wasn't. If he had a token, he wouldn't have needed any more money. He was hoping I got stupid since our last meeting, I guess, and thought he'd disguise the fact that there was no token by trying to confuse me with pennies. I didn't work.

I asked him if he recognized me. He looked confused. I reminded him of our last lil' situation and pointed out how similar this one was. I told him he really needed to stop playing around and pay the fare like everyone else.

He flipped me off and got off the bus.

Geez, flipped off before morning rush hour was even over! What a way to start the day. I hate Lake Street!

SCAMMERS

2010-07-13T15:52:00.002-05:00

What some people won't do to cheat the fare!

I was driving the 21 down Lake Street last week....yep, that's where you could have found me and won prizes...and I pulled up to a bus stop. There was a guy there pushing a lady in a wheelchair. I was getting the lift deployed to get them onto the bus. This twenty-something girl on the bus looked out the window and seemed quite concerned. She said "What is my Aunt doing in a wheelchair?" I thought to myself...Hmmmmmmm.

I don't normally ask people in wheelchairs for mobility ID, but something about this seemed a little fishy. They got on. The lady in the chair put in the 75 cent mobility fare and pointed to the guy pushing her and said "He's my P.C.A.." Knowing the P.C.A. deal is one of the biggest scams in town, I asked her for her mobility ID. She said "What?" I told her it was required if she was paying mobility fare. Her face just dropped. She knew the scam was up.

Her niece came up and paid for both the lady and the guy. They talked and a few blocks away...at the stop near the liquor store (hmmmmmmm), they rang to get off. After I was done getting them off the bus and started to pull away, the girl came up to me. She said "I'm sorry. That's my Aunt and Uncle. They are both alcoholics."

I've seen a gazillion scams, but one thing about this stuck in my head. Where the hell did they get the wheelchair?!!?

HERE'S ONE MORE

2010-07-13T15:50:00.002-05:00

Here's one for you to think about...

Be nice to your kids. They'll chose your nursing home!

ANOTHER FUNNY BUMPER STICKER

2010-07-13T15:48:00.001-05:00

I saw a car plastered with a bunch of bumper stickers. Here's my favorite one.

Urban Sprawl - Cut down all the trees and name streets after them.

How true.

WHERE AM I NOW?

2010-07-06T05:13:00.002-05:00

No one found me yet...well, it's only been two working days since the contest started.

The rest of this week, I have the same schedule. I start with the morning rush hour and finish just before the afternoon rush hour. I'm on a route I've blogged about quite I bit. There are even a couple blogs about how I hate this route!

Don't forget to say the winning phrase..."Are you picking up strangers?"

Can't wait to have a winner! It's fun!

HINT

2010-07-05T07:29:00.002-05:00

Today, the day after the 4th of July, is a reduced service day. I got a dreaded split shift...grrrrrrr!

Should make it a little easier to find me and win the prizes!! Both parts of my split are on the same route I had last week. Need a hint on which route that is? Ummmmm....One end of it has it's layover spot downtown Minneapolis. That's actually a pretty good hint....not many routes do that. Especially on reduced service days.

Well, I start my 12 hour day in about an hour. See if you can find me!

HMMMMMMM...JUST WONDERING.

2010-06-30T17:01:00.002-05:00

I'm wondering how many of you would actually buy a book of my blogs. I'm thinking of writing a book..."The Best of Pickingupstrangers.com". It would be some of my favorite stories from this blog and, of course, I would add stories that I haven't told yet.

Just curious....let me know. Be HONEST...I can take it!

Thanks! ;)

CONTEST TIME !!!!!

2010-06-30T16:15:00.002-05:00

Let's play! First person to find me and say the winning phrase wins...

A really cool Messenger bag

A big ceramic beer stein-style mug

AND a bumper sticker, a pin and a fridge magnet

The winning phrase is...

"ARE YOU PICKING UP STRANGERS?"

Again...friends, family and co-workers are not eligible...that would be unfair and just plain wrong!

Here's a clue...

The next 2 days I will be working about 6-ish AM to about 2-something PM. The route I am on is pretty busy and not one of my favorites. Ummmm...don't wanna make it TOO easy. How about this...the route number has 2 digits.

Good luck!

SCAM SOMEONE ELSE

2010-06-30T15:58:00.003-05:00

As I pulled up to the old man at the bus stop, I recognized him as one of many fare scammers. He never seems to pay the fare right and gets mad when you don't let him get away with it.

It was still rush hour and, as I opened the door, I noticed he had his fingers pinched together. Figuring he had a token and not seeing the additional 2 quarters that you have to put with it during rush hour, I said "you know it's still rush hour, right?" He said he did and proceeded to drop 2 dimes in the farebox. I just looked at him as though I was waiting for the rest of the fare. He put on his best confused look and I told him he had put in 2 dimes. I could see them in the window. He looked in the window on my side of the farebox and said "one of them is a token." I grabbed my handy pen-style flashlight that I keep in my pocket just for these occasions and lit the dimes up better. I said "There's a dime, and there's a dime. That's why it registered 20 cents." He stood there trying to think of some way around what I showed him. I told him he'd need to deposit the additional $2.05 or hop off the bus. He said "Then I want my 20 cents back!" I told him I didn't put it in there and I couldn't get it out. I also told him he wasn't about to ride for 20 cents during rush hour when everyone else on the bus had to pay $2.25.

Seeing he was not going to win, and maybe finally recognizing me as someone that busted his scams before, he got off the bus and stepped away from the door. Just as I was closing the door, he yelled "If I was a white man..." Whatever! That's all I needed to hear. I closed the door and drove off. It irritates the hell out of me when a person throws the race card over something that has nothing to do with race. The only color it's about is GREEN...pay the fare!

FUNNY CHURCH SIGN

2010-06-30T15:56:00.001-05:00

Thought I'd share something I saw on a sign outside a church. It's funny and educational!

"HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS. TEXT WHILE DRIVING IF YOU WANT TO MEET HIM."

I NEED THIS MAN

2010-06-30T15:40:00.002-05:00

I pulled up to a bus stop at 6:30 am. There was a woman with her boyfriend sitting in the shelter. The guy slammed his Colt 45 beer and threw the can. I saw beer fly out of it, so I knew he hadn't finished it. They came to board the bus and, not wanting some little kid to find the can and finish the beer, I asked them to go pick it up. I told them I'd wait.

The guy started to argue about it and the woman said "no, she's right" and went to pick up after her loser boyfriend. She went and picked up the can and then went over to the shelter and picked up another one. She threw them in the garbage can and boarded the bus. I thanked her. About this time, the loser sat down and started cussing loudly. I got loud myself and said " I don't care what you drank for breakfast, that language will not be tolerated on this bus!" He apologized.

The lady tried to pay with a hotlisted card and, realizing it wouldn't work, she started to dig for money that wasn't there. Then the loser cussed loudly again. I had had enough. I immediately stopped the bus and told him to get off. He tried the apology thing again. I told him he said he was sorry before and I was done. Again, I told him to get off the bus.

The woman got off and just when I thought he was going to follow her, he stopped in the door. He said "What's your problem? I think you need Jesus!" I rolled my eyes and waited for him to leave. Then he got funnier. He said "I know what you need. You need a man! That's what you need!" I couldn't control myself anymore. I said "Yeah, I need a man...just like you! Drunk at 6:30 in the morning. Yep, that's just what I need. Your girlfriend is the one that needs a man!" Totally confused, he got off the bus.

There was an express bus right behind me. I spoke with the driver later and he said he had seen me throw them off my bus so when they banged on his door, he knew they were a problem and just kept going. To make it even better, I called the Control Center and told them what had happened and suggested they warn my follower to pass them up.

I hope they stood there long enough for him to realize what an ass he was.

READY FOR ANOTHER CONTEST?

2010-05-16T20:54:00.002-05:00

Hope you are ready to try and find me again! I plan to start a new contest soon. I just ordered the prizes today. For those of you that are not familiar with the contest, here's how it works:

I give you the winning phrase to use to see if I am the bus driver. You go up to the bus driver and give the winning phrase and, if it's me, you win prizes! I drive many different routes because I give other drivers their vacations. You never know where I may be. You don't have to ride the bus to win. Just look for me driving...there are clues as to what I look like throughout the blog.

Friends, family and co-workers are not eligible. That just wouldn't be fair!

I will let you know when the contest starts, what the phrase is and what the prizes are SOON. I'm just waiting for the prizes to come to me in the mail so we can get this party started!

Stay tuned for the contest kickoff!

HEAR THE CHANGE

2010-05-16T19:06:00.002-05:00

I was just leaving Hopkins on the 12 route. I pulled up to a bus stop and this girl came out of the shelter and came up the steps saying "I'm a quarter short..." I noticed something in the shelter and asked her if it belonged to her. She thanked me and ran to get it. As she, again, came up the steps of the bus she started in again "I'm a quarter short, is that okay?"

Now, I am female. We can hear money. Heck, we can almost smell it. Both times she got onto the bus, I could hear the change in the pocket of her hoodie. Not only could I hear the change, I could tell by the sound of it that there were at least two quarters in there. I told her I heard the change in her pocket and even pointed to the pocket with the change in it. She seemed shocked and tried to lie to me again. "I only have pennies." I heard no pennies. I'm guessing it was more like two quarters and possibly a dime. I simply told her the farebox took all change and left the ball in her court. She pulled out a quarter and threw it into the farebox. I popped up her transfer and said "Thank you" and left it at that.

She didn't seem too upset, but she was. As she got off in Uptown by McDonalds, she went on a rant. As she exited the front door she spat something like "Yes, I had money! Maybe next time you could have a little compassion, bitch. Fuck you!"

Yeah, sure. That's who I should have "compassion" for. Someone that repeatedly lies to me to cheat the fare and thereby steal from my employer...which is basically the tax payers! That's really fair to everyone that pays the correct fare day in and day out. Why should she be able to lie to me and then get mad at me when I catch her? She's funny. Typical. Lie, cheat and steal and then get mad at the person that busts you instead of taking a look in the mirror and correcting your ways.

Funny thing is, seems what she nearly left in the bus shelter was part of her uniform for her job at McDonalds. I was sooooo tempted to go in to HER job and harass HER when I got off work. "I want a Big Mac, but I'm a quarter short. Is that okay?" If she was on her job, she'd be only right to tell me I could afford a double cheeseburger instead. I decided to be the bigger person and not stoop to her level.

People are so funny...especially when they get caught!

EACH ONE CATCH ONE

2010-05-16T18:34:00.002-05:00

I was doing the 11 route last week. I had this kid get on and try to use a Go-to card to pay the fare. It came up hot listed. I informed him that the card was reported lost or stolen and he couldn't use it. He handed it to me and said "Want it? You can have it. I just found it." I took the card and he paid his fare in cash.

While sitting at a red light, I looked at my card pertaining to these Go-to cards. It says if it is hot listed to have the Transit Police come get it. I called Control and told them the situation and they sent the police. In the meantime, my mind went on a little trip. I started thinking maybe the card was taken in a high profile crime! Maybe this kid was one of the muggers that have taken over the University of Minnesota area! Maybe he took it in a home invasion robbery! Then I came back to reality and thought...he said he found it. He probably did and the person who lost it reported it as lost and the card was turned off and flagged.

Then my mind went out there again...what if EVERYONE reported on what seems to be a small thing? Better yet, what if everyone reported crime every time they saw it instead of turning away and not getting involved? Maybe the criminals would realize they are the minority and don't have the power over the overwhelming number of GOOD people. I came up with the idea of "Each one catch one". If you have drug dealers, prostitutes or other obvious criminals where you live or work...report them...every time! If every decent person turned in a criminal, just think how many would be arrested! Sure, they might just move. Undoubtedly, they would move to where there are more decent people who, in turn, could turn them in. Eventually, they'd either earn an appropriate amount of jail time or just decide it wasn't worth it. Either way, they'd be out of our hair.

Here's a good example of something I did not too long ago. I live in a semi-rough area in Minneapolis. Most of my neighbors are good, honest and decent people. Every now and then, some idiot decides to rent a home to the losers. I had the guy across the street rent out his home to drug dealers. It was quite obvious what was going on. The home next door to them had a family with two little boys. I knew their mother was worried. She wrote down license plates and turned them in to the police about every week. That didn't seem to work. I thought I'd try to help before one of those kids got shot or something because of the nature of the "business" next door to them. I put up motion flood lights, pointed the motion sensor and lights up toward the drug house and it ruined their business. They were gone in about a month.

Do what you can. Be creative. Criminals are not that hard to outsmart. If they were smart, they wouldn't be criminals! If we had all the decent citizens "Each one, catch one" the streets would be safer and life would be much better for everyone! Just do it!

Amazing where my mind can stray when it goes out alone!

THE CLOWN

2010-05-16T18:24:00.002-05:00

I had this clown on my bus the other day. No, really...he's a clown. He walks up and down Nicollet Mall in his clown costume and entertains people. He makes balloon animals and everything. I'd seen him many times. I just didn't recognize him when he got on my bus because he was not in his costume. He asked me if I had ever seen the clown on the mall and when I told him I had he let me know it was him. He gave me his business card.

It's good to see someone trying to make a legit dollar. There are so many people with their hands out these days it gets irritating. I know the economy sucks, but take a lesson from this guy. He got himself a clown costume, learned how to make balloon animals and do card tricks and put himself to work...for himself!

I know if I see him on the Mall, I plan to have him make me a balloon animal or do a card trick so I can give him some money and let him know he is appreciated. If you see him and you are able to, give him a couple bucks. He deserves it!

THE BUILDING CHANGES COLORS!

2010-05-16T18:13:00.004-05:00

I saw the coolest thing while driving the 2 route. I pulled up to the bus stop near the construction going on at Fairview Hospital. They built this new building. When I drove by, it was purple! That's not the weird part. When I was crossing the highway approaching Riverside Avenue, the building was kind of a yellow-blue-green!

I was ready to sign up for a drug test! No building could change colors! On my return trip, I couldn't wait to go past that building again. Sure enough, it changed colors! I was so impressed, I started pointing it out to people on the bus. As we drove by, it changed from the yellow-blue-green to purple! How awesome! The passengers seemed as amazed as I was. I want that stuff on my house!

For those of you that are local, check it out! It's at 25Th avenue south and Riverside. You can take the Riverside exit off highway 94. The best time to see it is when the sun is out. It's just kind of dark at night and not at all impressive.

If you check it out, let me know what you think.

WHERE'S THE BARBER SHOP?

2010-05-03T16:29:00.002-05:00

I get a lot of stupid questions from people. It's pretty much a daily thing. The most common one is "What time is the next....(route I'm not doing).....coming?" If I knew all the routes and what time each was going to be at any particular corner every hour of every day, just start calling me Rainwoman!

One guy cracked me up with his stupid question. The funny part is, he was serious!!

I was driving down Nicollet Mall. Keep in mind, the Twin Cities area has well over a million people and therefore, oodles of businesses. I opened the door and he asked me, "Where's the barber shop?" I asked him WHICH barber shop. He had no idea the name of it. To be honest, that probably wouldn't have helped me out anyway. I'm a girl. I go to Salons!

Trying to be helpful and not laugh at the guy, I asked if he knew the address or cross streets where the barber shop was. He had no idea. He said, "You know...the BARBER SHOP!" He actually seemed irritated that I didn't have any idea where this mysterious barber shop was. Worse yet, maybe I did and just wouldn't tell him!

There was really nothing I could do to help the guy. If I had been carrying a Yellow Pages, maybe I could. I'm just a bus driver! I apologized for not being able to help him and closed the door and went on my way.

Here's a tip - Find out where you are going BEFORE you leave the house! Don't depend on the bus driver...or anyone else....to be able to figure out where you are going.

ROUGH CHURCH

2010-04-18T18:45:00.002-05:00

Being born and raised in a Catholic family, I should see the inside of a church much more often than I do. Then again, maybe it's safer to stay clear of the church!

I was driving down 38Th street and noticed something that still bothers me. There was a church with people going in, obviously preparing to pray. On the steps outside, there was a security guard!! Things have changed! When I was a kid (boy, that sounds like some old person talking!) church was a place we went to pray to and to thank God. It was a sacred place. A safe place.

What is the world coming to when Gods' house needs a security guard?

SLAMMIN' THE GOV

2010-04-18T18:27:00.002-05:00

I had a really fun guy on my 23 route recently. He's hilarious. He has a cane and walks with a limp and is quick to tell you he had a very bad car accident. He had such severe brain damage that the Doctors said he would never walk or talk again. Boy, were they wrong! I was joking back and forth with him and I said something kind of silly. He looked at me and said "I have brain damage, I'm not STUPID!" and started laughing.

He told me a story...hope I can get it right. He was at a press release where the governor was present. Afterward, he went to introduce a client of a colleague, one of the governors fellow alumni, to the governor. He decided to take this opportunity to address the governor himself. He told the governor he should make an appointment with his doctor... a proctologist who could help him get his head out of his ass!

This guy cracks me up!

Another thing I liked about him...he's a mentor. He mentors a young man who was flunking out of school, was kicked out of the local park and had many social issues. After mentoring the kid for a year and a half, this kid is getting all A's in school and was voted most helpful by the park board! Just goes to show what one person can do to help all of society. Despite his own handicap and brain damage, this guy helped turn around a kid that was headed to jail or the grave.

Makes me think I should be doing more...how about you?

WHITE WHALE?

2010-04-18T18:21:00.001-05:00

I had a guy get on one day. English was obviously not his first language. I tried to understand what he was asking me. He was talking fast and all I could pick out was "White whale". I know I could stand to lose a few pounds, but by no stretch of the imagination do I consider myself to be a whale.

He repeated the same thing over and over until I finally realized he not only wasn't born speaking English, but he had a speech impediment. Finally, I got it! OHHHHH! Light Rail! Yes, I go to the light rail station.

I think we were both relieved!

LAKE STREET...AGAIN

2010-04-18T17:47:00.002-05:00

I had the 21 on Lake Street again on Friday. To make it more interesting, I had the last westbound trip which finishes just before 2:30 A.M..

All was going well for most of the day. I had a lot of fun people and some interesting conversation. Then I got a drunk guy and his even drunker girlfriend. He tried to hand me a $20 bill. I told him we didn't carry change. He said the girl was in "critical condition" and he had to get her home. He managed to find most of the 2 fares required so I gave him a couple transfers and they made their home in the back seat.

I picked up a very drunk American Indian guy. He was about to put a $50 bill in the fare box. Lucky for him, I spotted it and covered the slot with my hand. I told him he didn't want to put a large bill in there because he'd get no change. He asked me how much the fare was. I told him $1.75. He put the $50 away and pulled out a $20 and began to put it in the slot. Again, I blocked the slot and told him he needed to find smaller bills. He again asked me how much the fare was and I told him. He rocked back and forth with his back against the pole by the front seat by the door. He put the $20 away and asked me, again, how much the fare was. I was starting to lose my patience and I told him "It's still $1.75". That got a few chuckles from passengers that were watching the whole show. He pulled the $20 out again and asked what the fare was. I told him he needed to go into White Castle and get change and catch the next bus. At this point, I had had enough of him and just wanted him off my bus. I pulled up at the stop right in front of White Castle and told him he needed to go get change. Another guy came to get on and picked the drunks' wallet up off the steps. I was glad since I hadn't seen him drop it and knew he had quite a bit of money in it. The drunk stepped past him so the other guy handed me the wallet. I flipped it open and pulled out the state I.D. to confirm it belonged to the drunk. Heck, he looked drunk in the picture! The drunk was walking away so I looked at the name on the I.D and called to him by his name. He seemed a little irritated and turned around and yelled "what?!" I handed him his wallet. He stood there mumbling something and I closed the door to continue on my way. Before I had a chance to pull off, the drunk put his hand up near the door, flipped me off and said "Fuck you!" Gee, the satisfaction of returning the guys lost money and wallet just kinda fizzled.

Further down Lake street, I picked up yet another drunk guy. Lucky me! This guy wasn't as bad off but was obviously feeling no pain. He was pretty pleasant and paid his fare. He went all the way to the back and next thing you know, he's in a verbal confrontation with the drunk and his girlfriend. It got loud and they were threatening each other with assault so I got on the microphone and got a little loud myself. I told them to all sit down and ignore each other. The guy that had just gotten on moved up a couple rows and sat down. He was mumbling about "dusting off" the other guy. The guy with Miss Critical Condition got loud and made another threat. I pulled the bus over and told him he'd have to get off the bus. I was done...just go. Surprisingly, he and the girl stood and began to exit the back door. There was a scary moment when I thought he was reaching into his coat pocket. I started thinking I should get the pepper spray ready when he made a couple unnecessary comments and they got off the bus.

When the other guy came up front later to get off, he apologized. I told him that sometimes it's just better be the bigger person and not feed into the situation. Just walk away. It's just not worth what may happen when people are drunk. Then I laughed and said "Besides, if you go to jail on a Friday night I don't think you can get out until Monday at the earliest! Not a fun way to spend the weekend!" He smiled and said I was right and he was sorry.

Until these 4 drunks, I was actually having a good time on Lake Street. There are a lot of decent, fun and interesting people on this route. To them I say...Hop on! Enjoy the ride!

I HATE LAKE STREET - PART 2

2010-02-28T21:15:00.002-06:00

A couple days after the first incident, I was picking up people at the light rail station on Lake street. Drunk and Drunker got on. Drunk was putting his fare in the box. His jacket pocket was at my eye level next to the farebox and I saw a bottle of booze poking out. I said to Mr. Drunk "That bottle is going to stay in your pocket while you are on this bus, right?" He said "What bottle?" I said "That bottle in your pocket that is looking me right in my face." He grinned and said "Yep, it'll stay in my pocket."

Meanwhile, his buddy, Mr. Drunker, is realizing he doesn't have a current transfer. While he is searching for something that doesn't exist, he slurs to me "What time you get to Chicago?" I told him Chicago Avenue was the other way. I suggested he get off the bus and go across the street and catch a bus going the other way. He pours himself off the bus. His buddy, Mr. Drunk, just sat there. I told him "Hey, your friend left. You need to go to the other side of the street if you want to go to Chicago." He didn't reply and I noticed my light turned green. I had wasted enough time on these guys and didn't want to wait for another light. I said "I'm not missing another green light." I closed the door and made the light.

As I approached 36th Avenue, Mr. Drunk said something about when WE are headed back the other way. I pulled into the bus stop and told him the truth. "I'm not going to have some drunk guy on my layover with me! If you want to go the other way, go over to that bus stop across the street and catch a bus in the direction you actually want to go." That thought swam through the alcohol in his brain for a minute and then it took root. "You mean I have to get off the bus?" I told him to get off and go catch a bus across the street.

Mr. Drunk flopped his way to a somewhat upright position and used the handles on the door to swing his way out the door. He swayed for a second and finally let go of the handle. I thought all was well. I was wrong. He took about two steps and slipped and fell on the ice. All I could see were his legs from the waist down. He was moving a little but didn't seem to be trying to get up. He just laid there I asked him if he was alright. He casually said "I'm fine." as though he was sitting there having a cup of coffee or something. Thoroughly disgusted by now, I closed the door and pulled off. My conscience slapped me before I even cleared the intersection. I called the Control Center and told them the situation and requested they check on him. They said they'd send a squad.

Then came what I had been dreading..."Don't forget to fill out an incident report..."

I HATE LAKE STREET - PART 1

2010-02-28T20:42:00.002-06:00

I hate Lake Street. Though most of the people are fun, nice and interesting people just trying to get from point A to point B, it has more people with issues than most other routes I do. I drove Lake street four days last week and two days out of those four I had to write up incident reports. Here's the first story...

I was having a pretty good day, as Lake street goes. Greeting everyone, thanking them as they left. Just a normal day. I had one of the bus groupies sitting in the peanut seat. Hadn't seen her in quite a while so when she saw me she decided to ride my bus and chat for a while. I pulled up to 21st avenue, heading toward uptown. An older man gets on and puts his monthly pass in the farebox and it reads "expired" and pops out. I looked at it and informed him the pass expired on February 11Th and it was now February 23rd. He said that that was the pass he'd been using. I thought maybe he had a new pass that he was using and just forgot to throw out the old one, so I suggested he check his pockets for another pass. He got mad and insisted that that pass was what he had been using. I informed him that it had been expired nearly two weeks and was no good. If he had no other pass, he'd have to pay a fare. His voice got course and angry and he yelled "Fuck you, bitch!" and went and sat down!

I was shocked. I couldn't believe this old man just cussed me out and then had the nerve to sit down on the bus, like I would just blow it off and drive on like nothing happened. I said "You aren't going to talk to me like that and ride on this bus. Have you lost your mind?" I told him he needed to get off the bus as I called for the police. He came up by the farebox and continued to yell at me while I was on the phone with the Control Center. I kept the mic keyed so they could hear what was going on.

Apparently, the old guy realized I wasn't moving and the cops were coming so he got off the bus. Just before I was able to close the doors, he looked at me. His eyes were burning with hatred and he said "I'll knock your fuckin' head off!" I was able to close the doors so I did. I had secretly taken my pepper spray out and had it shaken up and was holding it kind of between my knees. I put that away, too. I called the Control Center back to let them know he was off the bus. They asked me for a description and which way he was going. I sat there and gave them a description as I watched the guy walking away. He was looking back at me, still spewing hatred. I like to give a description as I am looking at the person. It is much more accurate than using just memory. I gave them a great description...right down to his slight limp!

The Control Center asked me if I was alright and if I needed Peer Support. I was a little surprised. I told them I was fine. The confrontation was all verbal. He didn't swing on me or anything. I didn't need Peer Support. I kind of laughed to myself. Did they really think a verbal situation would cause me to be so traumatized that I'd need to be taken off my work to sit and chat with a coworker to get it off my chest? I thought maybe the fact that I held the mic open and they heard it. It sounded worse than it was. True, there were a couple seconds there that I thought he might hit me. That's why I had the pepper spray ready, but not where he could see it and take it as a threat. It all worked out. He was off the bus and I continued on my route.

As I approached 3rd avenue, the phone rang. I pulled over and answered it. It was the Control Center saying they were doing a little follow up and again asked if I was okay and if I felt I needed Peer Support. Again, I told them I was fine. They said that was great and for me not to forget to fill out the paperwork when I got back to the garage. My heart sank. I had a million things to do after work and didn't have time to do a half an hour of paperwork. I told them "okay" and signed off.

I turned to the bus groupie girl in the peanut seat. She always likes to know what's going on. I told her they were checking to make sure I was alright and asked me...again...if I needed Peer Support. I told her I was doing fine until that call came. They told me I had to fill out an incident report. Now I WAS traumatized! Just the thought of having to do the paperwork messed me up!

That gave us both a much needed laugh.

LIKE, HOW ANNOYING!

2010-01-21T19:22:00.002-06:00

I was driving the 6 route heading from downtown into uptown. There was this young couple that I thought was going to drive me into peer counseling by the time I made it to uptown! They seemed to enjoy talking with each other and seemed to have a lot in common...including repeatedly saying "like". Every sentence had at least one "like" in it. Like really. Like, I'm not kidding. It was, like, really annoying!

To keep my sanity for as long as possible. I decided to distract myself by making a game out of it. I decided to count how many times they said "like". You aren't going to believe this...between the two of them, they said "like" 23 times in 2 blocks! In fairness to them, I caught about half of a red light. Still, TWENTY THREE times!

God loves me. He proved it by having them get off at uptown. WOO HOO! I had to drive all the way to Southdale in Edina. I couldn't have taken it. It was especially funny after they got off and a couple other people commented on the "like" couple. I couldn't help myself. I told one guy about my twenty three count and he cracked up. He said he knew it was bad but hadn't realized it was THAT bad!

People are fun.

FUNNY TRUCK

2010-01-21T19:16:00.002-06:00

I saw this truck the other day while driving the bus in south Minneapolis. I was sitting at a red light and there was this SUV in front of me. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then I noticed the sign on it. Where there would normally be the wording on the truck telling the model, this one said "FAKELADE". Get it? Instead of Escalade! That was too funny!

Of course, my mind works in mysterious ways and I had a thought that I just couldn't shake. Where the heck did they get that sign made? It looked like it actually came with the truck, which it obviously didn't. Where did they get that sign? It's still bugging me.

HIGHLY EDUMACATED

2010-01-21T19:04:00.002-06:00

I had this teenage boy get on my bus the other day. He was trying so hard to do the right thing. He had his books. He had his pants pulled up. He was dressed kind of nerdy, yet looked handsome and well groomed. Then he made the mistake of opening his mouth to ask me a question.

I was blinded my the gaudy gold he had covering all his front teeth. He sounded like he had a mouth full of peanut butter as he asked me slowly...probably the speed his brain was in.. "Does this bus go to the Lyeberry?" I was tempted to be sarcastic and tell him "No, but I do pass the Library." I thought better of that idea and just told him "yes".

I got the feeling he used to be gangsta and found out the decent girls prefer a guy with an education and fashion sense. He was making the switch but got caught somewhere in the middle. The weed had slowed his speech and he couldn't quite bring himself to part with the fake gold teeth.

Well, at least he is trying.

DRUNK PCA

2010-01-21T18:44:00.002-06:00

To help people with disabilities, the bus gives free rides to their Personal Care Attendants (PCA's). This is another loophole in which the scammers delight. Most people who use this seem to be legitimate, but every now and then you get one that you know is just not right.

I had two very drunk/high guys get on in downtown Minneapolis one evening. They staggered across the street and I wasn't quick enough to get away. The first guy fell up the steps. He then turned around and yelled to his friend to hurry and get on the bus. The second guy weaves his way across the street as I sat there dreading his arrival. The first one starts to show me the yellow paper that you get when you are waiting for your ID to come from the state. He had no picture ID to back it up or anything. I wasn't feeling like touching anything he had pulled out of his filthy, urine-stained pocket so I told him it was fine, he could pay the mobility fare and have a seat. Then he tells me his drunk buddy is his PCA! I told him a PCA is a Personal Care Attendant...not someone who is drunk. He insisted that his friend didn't have to pay because other drivers told him he didn't. I didn't feel like trying to argue with a guy that was obviously very drunk and whose eyes were bulging out of his head...I think from some type of drugs so I let them sit down.

I called the Control Center and told them about the two guys and told them I had a long layover in a place I didn't feel comfortable and didn't want these two on my bus alone with me. They didn't seem to know where they were going or even where they were. I looked in the mirror and one of them was inhaling something off a piece of plastic. I told Control that if they didn't get off by Uptown Station, I'd be calling back for a squad to meet me at the end of the line. They agreed that it would be safest to do so. Lucky for me, they recognized the station when we arrived uptown and decided to get on a 17 and go to Hopkins or somewhere.

I'm thinkin' if someone wants to scam the system and get a free ride for their friend, they should at least TRY and act sober!

SPAM COMMENTS

2010-01-21T18:30:00.001-06:00

Thanks to my wonderful brother, I think the comment section should be fixed. Sorry to those of you that want to leave a comment, but he put the little anti-spam deal on there so you'll have to type in an extra word. A small price to avoid all the junk that had been showing up there lately. Guess I was lucky not to have that problem for the first three and a half years of having this blog. Hopefully, the problem is solved.

Thank you all for your patience..and your comments!

PUTTING OUT THE PASSENGERS

2009-12-13T12:51:00.002-06:00

I had a guy get on my bus the other day that seemed more than eager to talk. He sat in the peanut seat, of course, and told me of his exciting ride on the 16 route.

Seems the ride was going along fairly uneventful and suddenly there was a huge cloud of white smoke that terrified everyone. They ran over each other trying to get away from it and get to the back of the bus. Everyone was scared and confused as to what exactly was going on.

The driver, who was also shaken and confused, pulled the bus over and opened the doors. Some people took off out the doors, but my little storyteller stuck around to figure out what the heck had happened.

Seems the pin had fallen out of the fire extinguisher and it somehow jostled itself into a spot that pushed the handle with enough force to make it go off. Bummer!

I've actually had this happen, but not to this extreme. The extinguisher was under the peanut seat and I didn't notice the pin had fallen out. Someone sat down and pushed their feet back against the handle and it sprayed. It only lasted a second because it scared the person and they moved their feet quickly. It's kinda funny when it happens, actually. The video would be fun to watch!

STUCK ... REAL STUCK !

2009-12-13T12:38:00.001-06:00

For the first time in over 9 years of driving a bus, I got stuck!

I was driving the 18 northbound and pulled into the bus stop at 38th street. I was talking to another driver I had picked up who had just been relieved and was on his way back to the garage. When I pulled into the bus stop, I knew I was in trouble. I had forgotten how slippery this particular stop had gotten. The snow was mushy and there was ice under it. I didn't pull all the way into the bus stop. We aren't supposed to on snowy days. That's how we get stuck!! I had a woman earlier that got mad at me because I didn't pull up to the curb. I tried to explain that we aren't supposed to because we get stuck there. I wish she had been on my stuck bus!

Just after I pulled into the stop, I told the other driver I thought I messed up. I told him I almost got stuck here last trip. Sure enough, I tried to pull out and the back tires started spinning. The rear of the bus slid toward the curb. I tried to go back and forth and it was getting worse instead of better. I called for them to come pull me out.

All my passengers got on the next bus. Of course, the driver had to give me a hard time. The driver after him laughed at me too. It's a rookie mistake and one I didn't even make as a rookie!! It took nearly half an hour for the truck to come pull me out. The garage is only 6 blocks from there, but I'm sure they were busy that day! In fact, one of the guys told me I was the 2nd bus to get stuck in that bus stop! There's a clue...bring the plow truck and some salt/sand!!

Anyway, I'm still dealing with the harassment from my co workers. It's all in fun. I am making a mental note of who's messing with me...winter has just started. They could be next!!

MOBILITY FOR TWO

2009-12-06T15:15:00.003-06:00

Once again...the lovely 18 route. I was heading into downtown and picked up a guy and who I am guessing was his girlfriend. She got on first and quickly tagged a go-to card and said "hi" and scurried to sit down. It seemed she was in a big hurry and then I noticed why. She had tagged a mobility pass. She was already past me and I already knew what was coming, so I let her go. Sure enough, her boyfriend stands there with his legitimate mobility ID and a stored value card. He was waiting for me to push the code into the farebox to deduct a mobility fare. I told him I already had one mobility fare paid and if the lady with him had mobility ID I could accept another mobility fare. He said "What do you mean?" I told him two people can't pay mobility fare with only one mobility ID. He told on himself. He got mad and said "That's MY card!" motioning to the lady. I said "I know. That is illegal. You can't give someone else your mobility card. You can get a minimum of a $240 ticket...each. It is actually punishable as a felony." He got mad and gave me the ol" "None of the other drivers say anything." I apologized for doing my job.

Seeing he wasn't going to get me to cheat the system for him...lie,cheat AND steal basically, he wisely decided to pay the whole fare and sit down. Then he became not so wise. He sat there and talked bad about me. How I was just being a jerk and no other driver has ever had a problem with it.....blah, blah.

I glared at him in the rear view mirror. I gave him the "keep it up and you'll be off this bus" look. I was actually being nice! I easily could have called the police and gotten them $480 in tickets...minimum!!!

It never ceases to amaze me. People will lie, cheat and steal and when they get caught...it's not their fault! It's the fault of the person that does their job and catches them!! Where's the personal responsibility? Hey, don't do the crime if you don't want to deal with the consequences!

GET A FUCKIN' ABORTION !

2009-12-06T15:06:00.002-06:00

I was driving the good ol' 18 route and had a pretty full bus. There was this loser...I mean guy..in the back area on his cell phone. He was obviously upset. He was getting loud and seemed to be arguing with some girl. Since he wasn't annoyingly loud (louder than basic conversation) I was waiting for him to cuss. I knew he would. Then, all of the sudden, he got very loud and said "I want you to get a fuckin' abortion. THAT'S what I WANT!"

That was my cue. It had gone beyond the comfort zone, in more ways than one, for everyone on the bus. I got on the microphone and said sternly " Hey, Hey! We don't mind cell phones on the bus, but if you want to cuss you'll have to get off!" He apologized and toned it down.

Note to this guy...and those like him....the bus is not your personal Jerry Springer stage! People don't want to deal with your personal and/or domestic problems!! Save it until you get off the bus. Better yet...keep it at home!!

REMEMBER THE CAMERAS!!!

2009-12-06T14:43:00.002-06:00

Recently, I was driving the 18 route. I had just left the Bloomington Transit Center and was taking a right turn onto Lyndale. I heard someone yelling and looked to my left to see a woman standing in the middle of the street waving her arms. What an idiot! She had run half way across the street, causing oncoming traffic to slow so they didn't hit her. I instantly got angry. There have been 4 recent pedestrian/bus accidents. One was a fatality. People like this are part of the reason why. I didn't see her. I was in one of the newer buses that has two large blind spots to our left. When I did see her, she was between the two.

I spoke to the passengers on my bus, with whom I had already been chatting with. I told them that people like her were the reason people got hit by buses. I explained that all people see from the outside are our huge windows. They don't see the many large blind spots that can easily hide people from our view. I was upset. Someone like her could cost me my job...not to mention the fact of having to live with knowing you killed or hurt someone. The passengers seemed to agree and I continued to drive.

After my short layover, I was driving back again. As I drove through the transit center, guess who was there!! I opened the door for other passengers and she hurried over to yell at me and get my driver number so she could call and complain. I happily gave her my number. I told her that I wasn't able to stop in the middle of a turn. I couldn't stop once completing the turn as there was traffic coming that wouldn't expect me to stop there and might hit the back of my bus. She yelled that I wasn't turning, that I saw her and just left her (in the middle of the street?!)

Sure enough, I was called into my managers office. I had already told him the situation. Upon reading the actual complaint, I found out this liar claimed she was waving her arms (that part was true) and that it was unacceptable that I just left her STANDING IN THE BUS STOP! I told my boss that unless they moved the bus stop into the middle of four lanes of traffic, this lady was lying. I suggested he watch the video from the bus. I was sure the camera out the front window would show her in the middle of the street.

Needless to say, the complaint was tossed out. It amazes me how many people will call in and lie about a bus driver! If they do it too much, they become known as a chronic complainer. This isn't good if they should ever have an actual, honest and legitimate complaint. Just remember...there are multiple cameras on each bus. You can't lie and get away with it!

What's funny about this lady is, she already has that reputation. A guy that was on my bus when the incident happened asked me later if she called in. When I told her she did...and that she lied...he shook his head and said the lady had issues. Seems she was waiting near him one day for the bus and called to complain that the bus was three minutes late!! Gimme a break! Three minutes! It can take that long to load a wheelchair...and you still have to unload! Three minutes! That's a few red lights! It's a few people with questions. It's a few people without their fares ready. It's an elderly person that takes a little longer to get on and off! Get over it!

Anyway, remember the cameras!! : )

PICKING ON PACKER FANS

2009-11-02T18:44:00.001-06:00

I had fun the other day messing with Packer fans on the 18 route. This guy got on with a Packer sweatshirt on. I told him his fare would be $500 due to the shirt he had on. I told him he had boarded a Viking fan only bus. He laughed and paid his fare. He stayed up front and talked smack about how the Packers were going to beat the Vikings. ( Vikes won! wooooo hooooo!)

I told him that if I had my way, Viking fans would ride free and Packer fans would have to pay triple to make up the fares. People on the bus laughed and joined in. Some were Packer fans, some Viking fans. It really made for a fun trip.

I get PAID for this!

BLUEBERRY SHORTCAKE

2009-11-02T18:24:00.002-06:00

I was doing the 11 route recently. This teenage girl got on Monday dressed like Strawberry Shortcake, but in light blue with white polka dots. To set off the outfit, she wore green and white horizontal striped leggings. She sat with her friend and her conversation cracked me up. One profound statement she made...."Stupid people are stupid." That was deep....NOT!

The next day she went from little girl to slut. She had on calf high boots with fishnet stockings peeking up over the top to just above her knee. They had a cute ruffle and a bow on the side. She wore a too-short skirt and topped it off with a useless flimsy jacket. Actually, the outfit would have been kind of cute on a 20-something going to the club. It just didn't work for a teen girl going to school. Her profound statement for the day...."Short term relationships never work out." Hmmmmmm...maybe that's why, or because, they are short term. Ya think?

The next day she got on and sat with a young black girl. Lil' miss blueberry shortcake is white. When I turned onto the detour we've been doing for a year or more, shortcake acted surprised and said "She turnin'?? She turnin'! She turnin!" I was sitting there thinking "duh, we've been turning here forEVER!" Then I thought...If I were that little black girl sitting next to her, I would be offended. Why did this little white girl have to ghetto up her lingo just because she was sitting next to the black girl? She hadn't been talking like that to her white friends. That's just wrong. It's insulting to the black girl.

Anyway, I was quite disappointed the last day I drove the route. Blueberry wasn't there. She was like a walking comedy to brighten up my morning.

THE SICKEST GUY IN THE WORLD!

2009-11-02T18:19:00.002-06:00

I was driving down Nicollet Mall when a 16 let out a bunch of people. Of course, they crossed in front of my bus, against the light, and made me miss my green light Most of them got on my bus. The last guy told me his transfer had just expired. I asked to see it. He thought for a minute and then told me he gave it to the other bus driver. Feeling conned, I told him he'd have to pay the fare.

He went for the sympathy move. He said he just came from the plasma donation place and they told him he couldn't donate because his temperature was....get this....two hundred and four!!!!

I couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't even sweating and he was almost twice the temperature that would KILL you!! He's the sickest guy I've ever seen standing on two feet!

2009 BUS ROADEO

2009-10-16T18:42:00.001-05:00

I had a ball competing in this years Roadeo! There were just over one hundred bus drivers competing this year. I placed 16th. Bummer. The worst part is that I was told if I had driven the course faster I could have been FIRST PLACE!!! I'm traumatized. I could have unseated the guy that wins every single year for forever! I could have competed in the NATIONAL competition! I knew I was going through the course slow, but I was trying my best to master each obstacle. You lose one point for every second over the 7 minute limit. I did it in 8 minutes and 8 seconds, so I lost 68 points!! That sucks. Now I have to wait a whole year to try and put together the accuracy and the time.

Wish me luck!

ANOTHER FUNNY BUMPER STICKER

2009-10-16T18:32:00.002-05:00

Was having a rare boring moment driving the bus the other day. I was sitting at a red light when I noticed the car in front of me had a bumper sticker. It made me laugh so thought I'd share.

"Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite."

Had to call my mom and tell her that one! Actually, I think she's his favorite!

TRAUMATIZED LADY

2009-10-16T17:48:00.002-05:00

I was driving the route 2 recently. As I pulled up to the bus stop on the little triangle island where cedar, minnehaha and franklin meet I noticed 4 drunk guys. Just my luck, I hit a red light. The biggest of the drunks approached my bus. I opened the door and he said "We need a ride. It's cold out." I wanted to say "Yeah, right! You have enough antifreeze in your system to get you through the winter!" However, I chose the professional approach and I told them the fare was $1.75 each. He said they were only going to 14th avenue. I told him everyone paid a fare and they would have to pay too. He got mad and I closed the door. I watched his buddy wobble as I waited for the light to change.

The guys started crossing the street against the light...no big surprise. Then I notice the big guy throw his arms wildly in the air and start yelling and running. On the other side of the street I noticed a young lady with a backpack looking terrified and running away from him. My light changed so I hurried across the intersection and pulled up just in front of her. I opened the door and she jumped on. Her eyes were wide and she looked more than scared. You could practically hear her heart beating through her coat. She thanked me repeatedly as she dug for a fare. I told her she didn't need to pay. I just wanted to get her out of that situation she was in. She said she'd be glad to pay, she had a bus pass. She thanked me again for stopping for her.

I don't know what those guys had in mind, but I'm glad the poor girl didn't have to find out. What losers.

The girl rode all the way to Nicollet and thanked me again before she got off the bus. I told her I was just glad she was safe. Other passengers seemed impressed that I would stop too. What would you do? I couldn't just drive by. If that had been me out there or someone I care about, I would hope someone would stop to help!

I must confess, I did try and use this situation to get an extra day off to extend an upcoming vacation. I told the dispatcher the story and told him I was supposed to get the hero award. This award included getting Thursday off. (There were already 2 drivers on the waiting list...no hope for me!) Knowing me, the dispatcher played along. He congratulated me and told me I got a Thursday off...not the one I wanted but one of his choosing. He'd let me know when it came up. Darn! I tried!

MEAN, OLD, CRABBY LADY

2009-08-23T18:37:00.002-05:00

I was driving the southbound 6 route pulling through Southdale Mall on my way to Minnesota Drive. I picked up this lil' old lady. I thought she was kind of cute at first. She had on a ton of makeup and was very well dressed. She reached up with a fistful of coins and put it into the farebox. It was 75 cents. I told her the fare was $2.25 during rush hour unless she had mobility ID. She snapped back, "You should have told me that before I put my money in!" I wanted to tell her I wasn't a mind reader and had no idea how much money she had in her fist or that there was a sign on the farebox that gave the prices, but I didn't want to sound defensive or rude so I just said "sorry".

She put in the rest of the fare, grumbling the whole time. I popped up a transfer and she snatched it. She was quick! As I pulled away from the mall and made a right turn onto York, she yelled "Aren't you going down France?" I explained that I took France to the Mall and would be back on France from Hazelton to Minnesota Drive...that I was still southbound. She stood up and walked directly to the door saying "Your sign says France. I need to go back down France!!" She kept pointing north so I figured she thought I was a northbound bus. I really should have taken her to the next bus stop, but she was pretty mean. I didn't want to get hit by someone that I couldn't hit back. I don't hit old ladies. I pulled the bus over immediately and let her off, blaming me all the way.

It's always the bus drivers fault.

BIZARRE MURDER

2009-08-23T18:26:00.002-05:00

I take notes on transfers when I think I have something I want to write about on the bus. I ran into this transfer the other day while cleaning. I thought I put this story on a while back but can't seem to find it. It was so bizarre...can't believe I didn't blog it yet. Here goes.

There's a guy that rides the 46 that always has a story to tell. He seems pretty normal, but one day he got on and told me an unbelievable story of his daughters murder.

The guy says he's from some small town. He said his daughter was a great student in high school. She was well liked by everyone she met and was just a really neat kid. Seems she ran into some psycho. He took her and beat her. He cut off her breasts and, as she died, he put a 6 inch speaker into her mouth so he could "hear what death sounded like".

The story was so bizarre, I question if it is really true. I don't know if you could fit a "6 inch" speaker into a persons mouth...unless you cut it open, I guess. Who knows. It was so strange, when I ran into these notes it took me a minute to remember what they meant.

I still see this guy on the bus...especially on the 46. I don't know if I should feel bad for his loss or keep my distance. If he made this up, he's gotta be quite a sicko!

TRAVELING?

2009-08-23T18:11:00.003-05:00

I drove by a couple of those sign people again the other day. They were standing by the Basilica in downtown Minneapolis. The sign they held kind of bothered me. It said "Traveling. Need tickets." WHAT???? I've been working hard all my life. I am planning a well needed, well EARNED vacation this fall. I'd LOVE for other people to pay for my tickets!! Heck, I wanna go para sailing too....maybe I should get a sign.

I know there are a lot of people struggling with this economy and job losses and such. However, I don't think "traveling" deserves help from other people that would love to do the same. If you want to travel, get a job and save your money and pay your own way!!

I still think the cure for "signing" is to have reputable charities give people that donate money a card for each dollar they donate. The card would list their name, address, phone number and the services they offer...food, clothing, shelter, job training or whatever. Instead of giving people on street corners cash (that I KNOW a lot of ends up at the liquor store or ...worse yet, given to a drug dealer) you give them the card. It's a win-win situation. The people get the help they need, if they really do need it, and the charities get money to provide those needs. The people that are just looking for you to pay for their next high will get tired of getting cards and stop begging on street corners.

I would rather (and have) help someone out who is collecting cans. I feel they are keeping America beautiful while they make their own money. I've handed over a few bucks to people I see doing this and actually told them "Thanks for keeping America beautiful." They appreciate it and don't see it so much as a handout, but a gift from a grateful stranger.

Heck, think I'll run for Governor!!

HERE I AM

2009-08-23T18:02:00.002-05:00

Sorry I've been gone so long. It's been a busy month. My father got pretty sick on the 4Th of July and was put on life support. He got better and was sent back to his nursing home only to be back in the hospital days later. I went to the State Roadeo Competition to cheer on our guys. We didn't win, but still had fun. Was my first trip to Albert Lea. We visited the Spam museum and took a little side trip to Iowa to go to the casino. I won about $900 !! Shortly after returning, my dad wasn't getting better and we had to take him off life support. He died about 37 and a half hours later. We had a great day with him before he went. He was quite spunky. Hard to believe he'd be gone so soon.

Anyway, after the funeral and everything was over I came back to work. A day or two later one of the guys that competed in the Roadeo in Albert Lea was killed, along with his wife (who was also at the Roadeo to support him), in a car/motorcycle accident.

It's been a long month. Now I'm back and hope you are all still here with me!! Thanks for your patience.

MOMMYS' LITTLE HELPER

2009-07-19T13:16:00.002-05:00

I was driving the 12 route Friday and got a couple regulars. The mother is a deaf mute who rides a scooter. She has an adorable little girl who is about 2 and a half years old. She often rides on her moms lap. Initially, I thought this was her grandchild, but was corrected by other riders who seem to know her. They told me it is actually her daughter.

Anyway, I put the lift down to pick up the pair. The little girl was just adorable. She was dressed in a pink "Hello Kitty" outfit. She had a matching pacifier in her mouth. I was tempted to yank the pacifier away to save the mother from future HUGE dental bills...and because the kid is a little old for a pacifier...but I restrained myself.

The little girl insisted on helping by putting the monthly pass into the farebox. She pulled it out of its little envelope and waved it around. She mumbled something that was totally not understandable. Partially due to her age and partially due to the stupid pacifier. Meanwhile, the mother left the child up by the farebox to pay the fare as she went to park in the handicapped seating area so I could strap her in. I was stowing the lift, which takes both hands. The little girl was too fast for me. She slipped the monthly pass into the dollar bill intake! I tried to reach up and catch it before it went in, but I was too late.

I turned and looked at her mother and she could tell what happened by the look on my face. I felt really bad. I realize it wasn't my job to babysit, but I still felt bad. I popped her out a 24 hour transfer, gave her a few free ride passes and had her fill out a card to put into the farebox that would provide the information to get her card mailed back to her. Of course, I called Control to inform them of the situation and let them know I had given out the day pass and free rides so I wouldn't get in trouble later. The lady seemed okay with the situation and how I handled it. I think she realized that she should have helped her child pay the fare and not left her alone to do it.

I did have two people say something to me as they got off the bus downtown. Both liked the way I handled the situation and thought I did a good job. That made me feel a little better. If either of you are reading this...thanks. It's always great to get support.

Lesson for the day...If your toddler wants to help you pay the fare, guide them through the process!!

LAYOVER LOVIN'

2009-07-19T13:06:00.002-05:00

Heard something pretty strange and hilarious from the other drivers recently. Thought I'd share. Please keep in mind, bus drivers are just people, too. There are about 1450 bus drivers in our bunch and any time you get a group that size, there are bound to be a couple oddballs.

Recently, a driver got fired. Seems he was continuously running 20-30 minutes late. A supervisor decided to try and find out what the problem was and went to a layover spot where the driver was, again, running very late. The bus was there, but there was no sign of the driver. The supervisor went to check the bathroom and opened the door only to find the driver getting a little lovin' on his layover from a hooker!

Upon reviewing the video from the bus, seems this driver also enjoyed pleasuring himself...on the bus!!

Note to other drivers....when the bus is turned off...the cameras stay ON!! Don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of your boss!!

How freakin' EMBARRASSING!!

AND THE WINNER IS....

2009-07-08T10:29:00.002-05:00

CONGRATULATIONS to Jennifer. She found me on my 46 route yesterday over on the St. Paul side. She knew the winning phrase and walked away with a really cool bright yellow messenger bag, the new and graphically improved beer stein mug, a bumper sticker and pin.

Thanks to all that played along. Thought you'd find me sooner! Especially with the recent giveaway clue!! Someone commented that I could be on the 11 and they were right. I was on it all week!

Anyway, I've been found. I'm sure I'll do the contest again, just not sure when. I don't want it to be like an ongoing thing...more like a once-in-a-while thing. It makes it more fun.

Gotta run...there are strangers on street corners just waiting for me to pick them up!

HAVE A NICE WALK!

2009-06-28T18:52:00.002-05:00

Kids are so stupid, sometimes. I was driving the 18 going into downtown and was pulling up near 63rd and Nicollet. There was a group of about half a dozen kids. I'd guess they were from about 9 - 14 years old. They were about half a block from the bus stop and they started waving their arms wildly as they ran for the bus stop.

I pulled up alongside them, intending to stop where the first kid was (the furthest from the direction I was coming) so the others could just file in. As I pulled up to the first kid, one further back along the side of the bus yelled "Stop bitch!!" I stopped the bus, kept the door closed and looked through the side windows at the potty-mouthed boy. I kind of rolled my eyes and shook my head and pulled off. The kid couldn't have been much more than 10 years old. No way was I going to allow him to talk to me like that and then have him ride my bus...thus getting away with such disrespect.

After I pulled away, I called Control to let them know that I had passed up the group of kids and my reason why. They thanked me for letting them know and told them they'd pass that on to the bus behind me. WOO HOO!! Usually, that means that bus will pass them, too.

I hope they learned a lesson! If not, I hope they at least enjoyed their walk. ;)

CONTEST HINT

2009-06-28T18:46:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm getting tired of carrying these prizes around. It's getting too hot. Hmmmm...don't wanna just give you the route I'm on. That would be too easy.

Monday - Thursday I will be driving from northeast to south Minneapolis. Here's a BIG hint....I'll be going down the Nicollet Mall. Okay...I think I've said enough. I probably said too much. Oh well. We'll see.

Don't forget the winning phrase!!! Picking up strangers is fun!!

GUY LINES

2009-06-28T18:11:00.002-05:00

Recently, I was doing the 18. It's always good for comedy.

A lady got on. She was nicely dressed and took a seat alone and obviously wanted it that way. Sure enough, the sharks started to circle. I couldn't believe it when I heard one guy go up to her and say the one line I always thought was soooooo stupid and an obvious attempt to find out if a woman is single. "Is your husband married?" The look on her face was as though she was reading my mind..."What a loser".

Not long after that idiot left, another guy and his friend started talking to her. The conversation started out innocent enough. What kind of work do you do? Do you live south? Then it got funny. The guy asked her if he gave her his address would she go over to his place and watch his bird. It was so bizarre, even his buddy tried to hide his laughter. The girl was pretty smart and turned him down nicely. I have to admit, that is a line I have never heard before!!

SNOOZIN' ON THE MALL

2009-06-28T18:02:00.002-05:00

I was driving down Nicollet recently. I was stopped at a red light next to Daytons/Marshall Fields/Macy's or whatever the name of that store is this month. As I waited to cross 8Th street, I noticed a guy across the intersection sitting on the curb ahead with a large duffel bag at his feet. It looked like he was waiting for a parade. As I watched, he pushed the bag with his feet until it was almost to the double yellow line in the middle of the street. Then he crawled off the curb and laid down with his head on the bag like it was a pillow. Luckily, I had watched all this. He was dressed in all dark clothing and the bag was dark. It was dark outside and, even with the lighting on the mall, he was hard to see.

I carefully drove around him to get to the next bus stop. I decided I better call Control and have them get someone to get this guy out of the street before a cab came around the corner and ran him over or something.

I like the Mall, but it's not THAT homey! Then again, maybe I don't know what I'm missing. Guess I'll have to grab my pillow one night and go check it out!

SUMMER SMELLS

2009-06-28T17:55:00.002-05:00

I love summertime. We suffer through long winters here in Minnesota just to enjoy a few months of warmth. However, along with the summer heat come the summer smells. On the bus, these can get gut wrenching.

I had this woman get on my bus recently. No joke. I could smell her before I even had a chance to greet her. She stunk BAD!! Unless there is a new cologne out there called "eau de ass", she really needed a bath.

The drunks stench goes up a notch, too. That fruity smell of cheap wine is enough to make me gag. It smells like they threw up on themselves, brushed it off and continued on with their day.

If you take a bus, do everyone a favor and make sure you don't stink! Treat other peoples' noses the way you want them to treat yours.

Thank you...this has been a public service announcement...for real!

I LOVE FIREMEN

2009-06-28T17:44:00.002-05:00

I was driving down Nicollet Mall recently. There was a little boy about, 4 years old, walking with who I'm guessing were his parents and some other people. There was a fire truck right ahead of me. The little boy heard the truck and turned to look. His eyes lit up an you could tell he was excited just to see one so close to him. The firefighters noticed him and stopped the truck. They called him over and let him stand on the truck. They blew the horn and made a quick tap on the siren. The little boy was in heaven. There were people stopping to take pictures. The parents got theirs, too. It was really cute.

As the little boy walked away and waved at the firefighters, they called him back again. They gave him some stickers. This was like giving the kid a bar of gold. He was overjoyed. He waved again as the truck slowly pulled away with all the grown men waving back at the kid.

Usually, I get mad when I am forced to miss a stoplight or two. This was worth it. It was fun to watch. These guys took a couple minutes out of their day to give a kid something he will remember for years.

By the way, I know there are women firefighters...but this truck happened to be all guys. I just am avoiding comments from those out there that want to point out that I forgot the women that fight fires. They are appreciated too, but the guys are more "hot" to me!!

BOGUS CUSTOMER COMPLAINT

2009-05-31T18:47:00.002-05:00

I had this early 20-something girl get on my bus last week. She sat way in the back seat and talked loudly on her cell phone. She began to use quite a bit of profanity, so I felt obligated to say something for the sake of the rest of the passengers. I got on the microphone and made a general announcement to the effect of "We don't mind you using cell phones on the bus, but cussing is not allowed and will not be tolerated."

She seemed to quiet down for a while, but then the cussing started again. I pulled into a bus stop and told her this was her stop, she'd have to get off the bus. She gave a fake "sorry" and I told her my line that I seem to be making famous..."This is not baseball, you do not get three strikes. You need to get off the bus or the transit police will come and take you off." She then stated she had to get to work. I told her then she should have listened the first time I told her to stop cussing. She'd have to get off the bus.

She stormed to the front of the bus. I was thinking I should have snuck my pepper spray out. She seemed angry and not very reasonable. I don't like to pull it out unless I am going to use it. Even then, I like to do it discreetly so it is not taken as a threat. The element of surprise is helpful, too! As it turns out, she just wanted to get a good look at my driver number and inform me that she was going to call in and complain. I told her to feel free to call in. I hadn't done anything wrong, she did.

After she got off the bus, I immediately called the Control Center to let them know about the situation and to ask them to record the time in case she called in. That would make it easier to find on the video. They said they would and told me to fill out an incident report. Bummer. That's like half an hour of paperwork. I wasn't happy about it, but I did as they requested.

A couple days later I got a note from the dispatcher just as I was getting ready to pull out and start my day. This chick called in and lied!! She basically said she was just talking on her phone and I yelled at her so she turned it off. Then she said that I told her to "get the fuck off the bus or I'm calling the police" !!!!!!!! Can you believe it!!!!! What a liar!!

To make it worse, I pulled out and made my first stop at the Uptown station. Guess who was standing there waiting for my bus! You have no idea how hard it was for me not to confront that lying little bitch!! Instead, I used something I recently had in a training program that teaches you to deal with difficult people and situations. I just ran over and over in my head "be the bigger person, be the bigger person.." I chose to pretend she didn't exist and continued to greet, chat and be pleasant with the rest of my customers and enjoy my day.

Needless to say, I spoke with my manager and he said the complaint had already been "handled". He will look at the video eventually, but they know me well enough to know that I wouldn't be cussing out a passenger...especially when the reason I am kicking them off the bus is for cussing!! Thank God for all the bus cameras!!

STILL HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT

2009-05-31T18:43:00.002-05:00

No one has found me yet!! The contest is still on. I realize the Twin Cities is a large hunting ground, so here are a couple hints to help you find me this week.

I will be doing two routes per day this week.

Both routes run between south and northeast through downtown Minneapolis.

Good luck!

I THINK I MET YOUR MOM

2009-05-31T18:34:00.002-05:00

I had the most adorable trio of little old ladies on my bus last week. They sat behind me and I couldn't help but enjoy their conversation. They seemed to be having a great time. During their conversation, one lady let a cuss word fly and the others giggled.

One lady was saying how, years ago when she had school age children, a friend had stopped by and wanted her to try marijuana with her. Another friend that was there just wanted to see what it looked like. The others puffed away on the joint and seemed to enjoy the forbidden pleasure. Then she said "but we had to quick open the windows and air out the house before the kids got home from school!"

I laughed to myself, as I wondered if MY mom ever did such a thing. Heck, I had to get my wild streak from someone! I called my mom later that day and told her the story. Then I asked if SHE had ever done that. She pleads innocent. I believe her.

Maybe it was YOUR mom that was on my bus!!

SHE BACKED ME UP !!

2009-05-08T11:53:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately, it is pretty rare that other passengers will stand up for the bus driver. Normally, people prefer not to get involved and just sit and watch the show.

Last week, I was driving the route 11. I had just started out from 40Th and Central and was heading for downtown. I picked up a handful of people. One nice lady got on with a large tray of pretty purple flowers that I'm sure she was going home to plant outside. The weather was typical of spring. The sun was shining but there were spurts of fast, light rain occasionally. There was even a rainbow...always awesome to see!

A few blocks later there were two boys in their late teens standing at the bus stop. One had a bike. I opened the door and the one without the bike immediately tried to play "Let's make a deal" with the fare. He told me he had a transfer and wanted to pay a dollar for his friend. I told him the fare was $1.75. He put in the transfer and again tried to make a deal with the fare for his friend. I told him the fare was $1.75. That is what everyone else on the bus paid and it wouldn't be fair for him to pick his own price. I mentioned his friend had a bike, a lot more than some people have. They decided the friend would ride his bike and they'd meet up.

The kid sat in the seat right behind me. Across the aisle in the peanut seat area was the lady with the flowers. The kid started mumbling how he couldn't believe I made his friend ride his bike in the rain. I couldn't help myself. I get tired of everything being the bus drivers fault. I told him that I didn't bring him or his friend outside and if he didn't want to get wet on a rainy day it would be best to stay home. The real kicker was the rain wasn't bad. In fact, there was more sun than rain. Anyway, I stopped myself when I realized how stupid I was being. No point in trying to speak sensibly to a grumpy teenager. I decided to leave it alone and just enjoy the day.

The kid grumbled to himself a little more and the flower lady couldn't help herself. She shook her finger at the kid and said " I know you. You ride this bus all the time and you are always trying to get away with something. You never pay the fare right. It isn't fair to all the rest of us. We pay the fare every day...all day!" I was surprised. I don't do this route too often and didn't recognize the kid as a chronic fare evader, but that lady sure did! He seemed a little embarrassed to have been caught and tried "You must be thinking of someone else." She immediately confronted him further "No, it's YOU. You are always trying to get away with something!" The kid realized he was busted and wisely chose to just shut up.

I wanted so much to chime in and support this lady! I wanted her to know I appreciated her backing me up. As I considered doing so, my common sense busted in and ruined my fun. I decided it would be too much like we were ganging up on the kid and I chose to leave it alone. She did fine on her own. I did give her a big smile as she got off and asked her about her flowers. She was pleasant as can be. If the kid wasn't sitting right there, I'd have thanked her for putting him in his place.

When the kid got off downtown I treated him like everyone else. I said "Thank you, have a nice day." I think that really threw him off. It was actually kind of funny. You could just see that he wanted to be pissed, but I was being so happy and nice with everyone...including him, it just messed him up.

I hope to see that lady again...hopefully, soon. I just want to thank her.

LET THE GAME BEGIN !!!!

2009-05-06T09:56:00.002-05:00

TODAY IS THE DAY !!!

The contest to see who can find me first is officially on! YOU COULD WIN PRIZES!!

Here's how it works. The first person to find me driving one of my routes who says the winning phrase to me wins. Simple as that.

There are a few rules I made up to make it fair.
My friends, family and coworkers are not eligible to win.
I must be driving the bus, not out on the street somewhere.
You must say the phrase for THIS contest (not the one I had last fall) in order to win.

The prizes are pretty cool. They are; a really neat Messenger Bag (so cool, I got myself one!)
the new and improved Beer Stein Style Mug
a bumper sticker and a pin.

Yep, that's right...one lucky winner takes it all!!

The phrase you need to say to me is.... "Picking up strangers is fun!" *

Start looking and good luck!!

Disclaimer, for those who take things a little to literally...
* I do not intend for anyone to go picking up people you don't know. It can be dangerous! This is simply referring to the name of my blog, since it IS what I do for a living!
Be smart, be safe!

CONTEST COMING SOON !!!!

2009-04-19T14:17:00.002-05:00

I had so much fun last fall with the contest, I'm gonna do it again. For those of you unfamiliar with the contest, it is basically the first person to find me driving a bus and giving the winning phrase is the winner! Friends, family and co-workers are not eligible to win. I will be starting the contest soon and will put up a blog to announce the start of the contest. THE CONTEST WILL NOT START UNTIL I PUT UP THE BLOG ANNOUNCING THE START OF THE CONTEST.

I've ordered new prizes for the contest. I decided to keep the beer stein style mug and added a stylish courier-type shoulder bag. Thanks to my big brother for adding to the choice of prizes. If you are interested to see what they are like, go to www.cafepress.com/pickingup to view the prizes and other stuff. Maybe next time I'll take suggestions as to what to get for the prizes.

Soon I will put up the blog to announce the beginning of the contest and to give the winning phrase that you must say to the driver in order to see if it is me and if you have won. For hints on what routes I drive and a little about what I look like...read the blog! I often mention what routes I am on. I have mentioned a couple things about what I look like that are a dead giveaway.

Keep checking the blog...the contest is coming SOON!

FREE WHEELIN'

2009-04-12T15:31:00.002-05:00

Last week I was driving the 12 for 10 hours a day. Not a bad route. A lot of the people are regulars. One regular, in particular, I was less than happy to see. She's a lady in a wheelchair that usually has her 3 kids with her. She is well known for not paying her fare...or her kids fares.

I have had problems with this lady for about the past 2 years. I don't see her too often, since I switch routes so much. I have had her quite a bit on the 21 and the 12. I have let her go with a stern warning at least half a dozen times. Usually, it's because she has her kids and I don't want to involve the police with them there. I've also let her slide due to poor weather and the fact that she is in a wheelchair. The last time I had her on, she had her three kids. As usual, she didn't pay. I was fed up, but the weather sucked AND she had the kids with her. I put a little bass in my voice and warned her this was her last free ride. Next time, I would call the police and she'd be taken off the bus and given a $180 fare evasion ticket. When I got to her stop in downtown Hopkins and was unhooking her wheelchair, the oldest boy asked if I had called the police. He seemed a little distressed and was afraid his mom was going to jail. I explained to him that I didn't call the police this time, but that when people ride the bus they have to pay a fare. I told him his mom had a habit of riding without paying the fare and that was illegal. If I did have to call the police on her, she would get a very expensive ticket but she would not be taken to jail. He seemed relieved. The kids are great, actually. They are well behaved, fun kids. Their mom, on the other hand, irritates the hell out of me. It's not just that she doesn't pay the fare but that she pretty much ignores the three kids. She's always on her cell phone, loudly, for the entire trip. One time she had an Ipod or something, but she never seems to interact with her kids. Maybe that's why they get along so well. They are all they have. Mom has all the toys. The kids never have anything. Makes me wanna take them home and spoil them rotten!

Anyway, Miss never-pays-a-fare got on my bus on Monday. Decent weather, no kids...the chance I'd been waiting for. After I tied down the wheelchair, I stood there as she went through her pockets and purse repeatedly. I knew she didn't have a transfer. I also knew she just got off the 21. She never pays. Realizing I wasn't going anywhere without payment, she smiled and threw her hands up and said "no money". I told her not this time. I went and checked with the other driver to see if she had paid on his bus. He had relieved the other driver so he didn't know. Knowing she would have a transfer if she had paid and that she NEVER pays, I got back on my bus and called Control. I told them I had a chronic fare evader (that's what we call them) on the bus and would like the police to come handle it.

Realizing I was calling the police, the lady tried to hand me 36 cents. I told her no way. I had let her go far too many times already and she needed to know this was not acceptable. The police arrived. One officer recognized the lady and asked if I had called about her before. I told him I have had fare problems many times but never called because she usually had her kids with her or the weather was bad. This time I had had enough and there were no kids to scare and the weather was good. I requested that he give her the $180 ticket because the warnings were not working and there needed to be consequences for this repeat behavior. He indicated that he understood and said "By the way, it's $240 now. It went up." As usual, a passenger offered to pay her fare when he saw that I was unhooking her wheelchair tie downs so the officer could remove her from the bus. The officer told the guy that this was an ongoing problem with her and it needed to be taken care of. I was very glad the officer saw my dilemma and was taking action.

The lady was taken off the bus and from what I hear she did get the $240 ticket. I had her get on a couple days later and ,for the first time, she paid her fare! She actually overpaid. She put in a dollar instead of the 75 cent mobility fare. Seems even with the ticket, she's got money to blow. I've spoken with other drivers that know her and they said she's been paying on their buses too. I guess she did the math and realized $240 would have paid a whole lot of 75 cent fares!

No more free wheelin'!!

GANGSTER IN FUZZY SLIPPERS

2009-04-05T18:46:00.002-05:00

I was driving the 11 and this kid about 17-18 years old got on. He had white three-quarter length pants on, sagging off his butt. A knit hat all crooked and barely sitting on his head. By far the funniest part of his wardrobe were the fuzzy black slip-on slippers he had on his feet. I tried not to laugh as he got on waving a dollar. He gave his best fake smile, tried to look cute and said "All I have is a dollar." I put my hand to block the bill feeder on the farebox and informed him the fare was $1.75. He asked if anyone had any change. Everyone on the bus ignored him. Finally, the little liar finally reached into his pocket...somewhere about mid-calf area...and pulled out another dollar. He mumbled about how the bus was taking all his money and went to sit down. He had his headset on so loud I could "name that tune" if I had brushed up on my gangsta rap crap. He sat there throwing gang signs to himself and anyone else that bothered to pay any attention to him. That got him absolutely no response, so he decided to sing along with his tunes.

After hearing a string of profanities longer than any of us on the bus cared to, I got on the mic and loudly told him that profanity is not allowed on the bus. He said "I'm just singing along with my music." I told him I didn't care what he listened to, but he wasn't going to use that language on the bus. His response "My bad." He kept bopping his head and tossing signs, seeming a little annoyed that no one seemed to care.

As he got off the bus downtown, he cussed up a storm and glared at me as he went out the back door. I laughed out loud. Some of the other passengers looked at me like "be careful!" I said "It's kind of hard to be a tough guy when you're walking around in fuzzy slippers!" They all laughed.