Monday, November 02, 2009

PICKING ON PACKER FANS

I had fun the other day messing with Packer fans on the 18 route. This guy got on with a Packer sweatshirt on. I told him his fare would be $500 due to the shirt he had on. I told him he had boarded a Viking fan only bus. He laughed and paid his fare. He stayed up front and talked smack about how the Packers were going to beat the Vikings. ( Vikes won! wooooo hooooo!)

I told him that if I had my way, Viking fans would ride free and Packer fans would have to pay triple to make up the fares. People on the bus laughed and joined in. Some were Packer fans, some Viking fans. It really made for a fun trip.

I get PAID for this!

BLUEBERRY SHORTCAKE

I was doing the 11 route recently. This teenage girl got on Monday dressed like Strawberry Shortcake, but in light blue with white polka dots. To set off the outfit, she wore green and white horizontal striped leggings. She sat with her friend and her conversation cracked me up. One profound statement she made...."Stupid people are stupid." That was deep....NOT!

The next day she went from little girl to slut. She had on calf high boots with fishnet stockings peeking up over the top to just above her knee. They had a cute ruffle and a bow on the side. She wore a too-short skirt and topped it off with a useless flimsy jacket. Actually, the outfit would have been kind of cute on a 20-something going to the club. It just didn't work for a teen girl going to school. Her profound statement for the day...."Short term relationships never work out." Hmmmmmm...maybe that's why, or because, they are short term. Ya think?

The next day she got on and sat with a young black girl. Lil' miss blueberry shortcake is white. When I turned onto the detour we've been doing for a year or more, shortcake acted surprised and said "She turnin'?? She turnin'! She turnin!" I was sitting there thinking "duh, we've been turning here forEVER!" Then I thought...If I were that little black girl sitting next to her, I would be offended. Why did this little white girl have to ghetto up her lingo just because she was sitting next to the black girl? She hadn't been talking like that to her white friends. That's just wrong. It's insulting to the black girl.

Anyway, I was quite disappointed the last day I drove the route. Blueberry wasn't there. She was like a walking comedy to brighten up my morning.

THE SICKEST GUY IN THE WORLD!

I was driving down Nicollet Mall when a 16 let out a bunch of people. Of course, they crossed in front of my bus, against the light, and made me miss my green light Most of them got on my bus. The last guy told me his transfer had just expired. I asked to see it. He thought for a minute and then told me he gave it to the other bus driver. Feeling conned, I told him he'd have to pay the fare.

He went for the sympathy move. He said he just came from the plasma donation place and they told him he couldn't donate because his temperature was....get this....two hundred and four!!!!

I couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't even sweating and he was almost twice the temperature that would KILL you!! He's the sickest guy I've ever seen standing on two feet!
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